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Wooden Plank

The opposite of nimble. Normally this term is used in sports.
Teammate 1: That guy lost the ball as soon as we passed it to him wtf
Teammate 2: Yea don't pass to that wooden plank again
by Radiotrophic Gint April 30, 2024
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Wooden Wonder

1. The outstanding WWII Brit fighter/bomber--DeHaviland Mosquito. AKA "Mossie."

2. My John Thompson when I wake up next to my bride in the morning.
1. "Gotta love the Mossie."

"Yup. The Wooden Wonder!"

2. "Darling, is that the Wooden Wonder or are you just happy to see me?"

"Why not both?"
by NonpedoSargon September 29, 2022
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Wooden spoon karaoke

The rediculous endeavour of singing kareoke whilst using a wooden spoon in lieu of a microphone.
She ate that song during wooden spoon karaoke
by Phantom1983 February 10, 2024
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wooden fireplace

Something that's completely unusable or effectively useless.

Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.
The phrase "eight people in a basement, huddled around a wooden fireplace" during a power failure originates with the Brockville Recorder & Times, a small-city daily newspaper, reporting on a major icestorm which hit eastern Ontario in Jan 1998. They followed up with another piece on a subsequent power fail which stated "when the insulator is open, the electricity leaks to the ground."

Don't quit your day jobs, kids.
by bitchuck October 5, 2024
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Wooden the Day

Wooden the Day means having a good morning after a bad night, often a sleepless night due to alcohol consumption but parenting is also a common cause.
Woodening the day is often active, so a person strives to wooden their day by choosing to partake in positive experiences which will require little concentration and mental effort.
"The toddler wouldn't stop crying but we woodened the day with a mimosa brunch."
"Honey, can you get me an Advil? It would totally wooden the day."
"After you clean up we can head back to Barnie's. That should wooden your day."
by ShyAaaaaaaaa November 24, 2021
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Jene Wooden

THiS DUMB BENCH (JENE WOODEN) iS WRONG.
by JFSIOAF May 2, 2009
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wooden cudgel

A game played between two or more contestants.

Rules:

1. Enter a forest or wooded area
2. Each contestant must locate a piece of wood that they can hold and swing with one or both hands (cudgel)
3. Each contestant swings the wood they have found at each other with the intent to disarm their opponents or to encourage them to submit
4. The last contestant bearing their cudgel is winner
Arnold: "What happened to you!?"

Davie: "Fred and I were playing wooden cudgel."

Arnold: "What the fuck is wooden cudgel?"

Davie: "Ya know, two men enter a forest and get pieces of wood, then swing the wood at each other until one man submits... Pause"

Arnold: "Ay yo!"
by Oilcan Boogs October 20, 2010
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