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UK: A chocolate teapot is an utterly useless item. Alternative terms also used are chocolate fireguard and chocolate kettle.
Refering to a useless or pointless item /deed /action /incapable person: "as much use as a chocolate teapot"
by Clansman April 22, 2009
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Jul 31 Word of the Day
(noun) A person who sits on the front porch and intimidates, says negative things, or otherwise makes things unpleasant for those nearby.
The boys walked past the house of old man Thompson, the neighborhood porch dick, who always assumed they were up to no good.
by bigweaseldaddy March 08, 2015
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where one takes a shit, don't wipe, and then teabags yo gurl.
M: hey babe, can I make you a chocolate pot of tea
F: uh, babe, you mean a chocolate teapot?
M: oh yeah, that. let's do that. I'm glad you remembered for me. let us.
by MizzSrirowskiacha May 10, 2018
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UK: Insult used in the military when a recruit is either accident prone, clumsy, just plain slow or a combination of these.

Variations include:
Chocolate kettle
Chocolate fireguard.
PRIVATE you have left your safety catch of AGAIN...YOU ARE A SLOB, you are about as much use as a fekin' CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!, etc, etc....
by Blue Cawdrey November 22, 2004
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