speckled cobra

corn poop. brown turd with lovely yellow gems studded in it. not so fun to see one floating a portapotty.

Guy 1: Ugh I hate going to Warped Tour.
Guy 2: Why? The best bands play there?
Guy 1: Yeah, but I always end up waiting in line for an hour to pee only to end up with the porta-john with a speckled cobra coiled in the blue piss water.
Guy 2: Oh... dude. Umm...
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: That was mine.
Guy 1: *cries*

by gross person January 3, 2009

speaktard

1. N. someone who either consistently or momentarily makes a mistake when speaking

2. N. someone who just sounds like an idiot while speaking

Adj. speaktarded

charles: "hey cutie, i'm, my name umm.. i mean beer?"
random girl: "was that a question or something?"
charles: "yes.. can i buy it?"
random girl: "you're scaring me what the hell are you talking about?"
charles: "what the hell are you talking about?"
leo: "please excuse my friend, he's a speaktard."

by leonidas queequeg jesus March 6, 2011

chip speak

A language spoken by "affluent" males (age 14 - 35) from Connecticut.

Phil said "Todd and I are going to play a quick game of squash on my private course, why don't you have your driver drop you off here".

Rick responded "Phil chill with all that chip speak, you know I take the bus every where"

by Ben Franklins February 7, 2008

Headline Speak

Speaking with extreme brevity, in the way of a news headline. A natural shift in language for the Gen Y gang who thrives on Tweets, Emot-icons, and Vanity Plates.

Instead of saying, "It has been discovered that Captain John Smith engaged in sexual relations with a Native Indian woman known as Pocahontas", I used my Headline Speak and said, "Captain Boned a Native".

by Slugworthy March 30, 2011

fauxtivational speaker

1. A person who writes, posts, or otherwise speaks stupid cliches in order to assist someone with their personal short comings.
2. Someone who is as fake as they come, who tries to evoke motivation.

Bob: Hey my girl just broke up with me.

Mr Helpful: Don't worry bro there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you love someone set them free, if they come back they're yours to keep. You cant count all your eggs before they hatch. It will happen when you least expect it.

Bob: Thanks but I don't need another fauxtivational speaker man.

by Ryan2her December 5, 2013

redneck speaker phone

when mama is on the front porch of the "single wide" yelling with the neighbor across the trailer park talking about how "sorry" her baby daddy is. she is using the redneck speaker phone.

i wish tonya and linda would quit using the redneck speaker phone , put more minutes on their pre paid phones and quit yelling to each other across the park, i bet everyone in the trailer park is tired of hearing the details of the ex cons they are both sharing in bed.

by fuckthathotass69 December 10, 2018

demonetization speak

The way youtubers will typically censor themselves by avoiding swear words and certain topics to an absurd degree in order to not get demonetized because of YouTube's harsh system.

Guy: I hate it when youtubers use that demonetization speak instead of just saying it how it is!

by Person1582962 June 7, 2020