sexually frustrated soccer mom

a middle aged woman that appears happy and satisfied on the outside with her minivan and ivy league kids, but on the inside is deeply supressed and insatiable which comes out in her sex life or lack thereof.

kristina: hey, don't you think becca looks like a sexually frustrated soccer mom?

katie: why yes i do, check out those old lady ballet flats and knee skirt. plus, the gay man on her arm!

by ira. May 30, 2007

Socceritis

The disease that makes you want to play soccer/football.

Usually acquired after a period of time of not smelling the grass on the pitch or your own soccer boots.

I caught Socceritis this weekend, so I played soccer the whole time

by Soccer4ever December 21, 2008

Soccer mom

Middle aged, middle class white woman, usually from the suburbs of lare metropolitan areas. Her life revolves around her 'prescious' children, and she will do anything to keep them safe. This leads her to support things to keep those sweet 'gifts from God' safe, including: gun control laws, new stop signs, new traffic lights, speed bumps in residential neighborhoods, booster seats, and enviornmental laws.

Soccer moms usually own large, fuel ineffecient vehicles. This is the consequence of her having to transport her kids with all their sports equipment, books from sporting event to sporting event. Another consequence of this is a strong support for protracted guerilla wars in the Middle East that soccer moms (wrongly) believe will keep the price of gas down.

They voted for Clinton/Gore in 1996 cause Clinton was cute and made them think Dole would gut education/health care. In 2004 Bush has them scared shitless that terrorists would target their 'babies'.

A typical day for a soccer mom involves making lunch for her little tykes after which she 'runs errands'. These errands usually involve the purchase of large amounts of drugs from black men in the city. The drug causes soccer moms to drive erraticaly during rush hour (ie cutting people off, failing to merge properly, failing to signal while changing lanes, hugging two lanes, failing to maintain safe speeds). Drugs also cause the average soccer mom to adopt dellusional perceptions of her children. This causes her to yell at the other team during soccer matches whenever her child fails to score.

by yeslkjlkj September 18, 2004

soccer AM

Possibly the greatest program ever. Shows football related stuff for 3 hours on a saturday morning. Can a man ask for any more? Features Lee Trundle , our Swansea legend quiet alot. Also, the legendry game called 'Crossbar Challange' where you have to hit the crossbar from the centre spot is one of the highlights.

Trundle did the crossbar challange, the flash c**t!!!

by Sutton November 6, 2004

soccer moms

female mothers, sometimes single, that haul their little tykes around to soccer practice or games; vehicles they drive range from big ass gas hogging SUV's to mini vans with a soccer sticker placed near the back window; usually upper middle class cake eating assholes

The soccer mom gave me the "evil eye" after I clearly stated loudly, soccer should have stayed in Europe.

by gabe July 6, 2003

soccer mom

A soccer mom is typically a 40 year old, Caucasian, middle-class suburban woman. She is often seen driving an SUV everywhere, taking her kids back and forth from the many activities they participate in after school. They typically have a family of a husband and three kids, and own a two-story house with a picket fence in the front yard. They are overprotective parents who blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all of today's problems in the world. They drill their Christian bullshit into their three kids since child birth, and look down on anybody who doesn't have the same beliefs and opinions as they do. They censor out a lot of stuff yet little do they know, their kids are going to find all of it out in a couple of years anyway. The children of the typical soccer mom are forced to participate in loads of sports/activities after school, even though they may not like them. They aren't allowed to play any other video games other than a Nintendo Wii for only an hour a day. They have no Internet access, other than Brainpop.com and other educational sites. They must go to church every Sunday. If they disobey all of these requirements, they are grounded for a week and sent to their rooms. The soccer mom demographic is mainly the ones responsible for all of the unnecessary censors that are out in the media today. Soccer moms make me sick.

"That soccer mom over there just yelled at me because I was playing Metallica on my iPod at full blast!"

"Wow man, what a bitch."

by Chupacabra1234567 May 18, 2010

soccer manager

Two senior girls who manage a boys' soccer team that are in charge of getting water, washing pinneys, counting the soccer balls, taking statistics, trash talking the other team, eye candy, etc.

Usually flirted with and whistled at by the other team

Also known as a dome squad and their team loves them forever as they tweet about them constantly.

Most often they end up dating/hooking up with the players after the season is over.

The absolute sexiest and most amazing girls in the school.

Midfielder: where's our soccer manager Tess when you need her?
Defense: she's filling water bottles.
Goalie: Damn she fine!

Midfielder: what's our soccer manager Emma doing?
Defense: taking score of the game.
Goalie: Damn she smart!

Emma: Tess i can't wait for the soccer game today!
Tess: me neither! let's wear booty shorts!
Emma: hey did you see Will's tweet about us? We're the dome squad now.
Tess: that's when you know you've made it.

Defense: Oh man, I hooked up with Tess last weekend. Best night of my life!
Midfielder: Nice bro! I hooked up with Emma last weekend. She's so awesome!
Defense: Good thing the season's over bro so we can hook up with the soccer managers now.
Midfielder: Yeah man -- once you go manager...you can't go back.

by T-dawg17 April 17, 2012