Melbourne

Melbourne is a city in australia in the state of Victoria, it is the crime capital out of all the major cities (except Darwin coz no one gives a shit about Darwin it’s all country land) and is notoriously known for having the longest covid lockdown in human history. Melbourne was once referred to as the most liveable city in the world but has quickly been on a downfall to becoming the Chicago of Australia. The gang violence down here gets worse and worse every month. Going out in the city at night is risky and dangerous. Knife & gun crime are on a rise. Melbourne has a reputation for the most corrupt police officers in the country and the current premier has recently been accused in parliament for corruption. From this perspective your better off moving out

Jake: “aye cuz let’s go on a flight to Melbourne and enjoy our life”

Cruz: “fuck no cuz there’s legit nothin to do beside walk around a big city go couple restaurants and get pulled up on by 20 sudos with balaclavas and puffer jackets”

Jake: “don’t be a pussy mate we wont get rolled up on”

“The two proceed to Get drilled (robbed) for there credit cards and wallets”

by Burncitylingo January 30, 2023

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by Best Hire Chairs Melbouren October 16, 2023

Melbourne

The city that is better than sydney and everyone is only permitted to dress in black
You can experience 4 seasons in just under an hour!
Expect to find eshays at almost every train station, threatening you and trying to steal ur nike tns, and threatening to shank you.

Tourist: Wtf?!? It was 50°c two minutes ago!! How is it snowing!?! How is it snowing in Melbourne?!?

by MaxiTheTaxi January 9, 2024

Melbourne High School

One of four selective-entry high schools located in suburb of South Yarra, Melbourne, Australia. Caters to boys from Year 9 to 12. Known for having a rigorous selection exam, hundreds of students miss out on the opportunity to go to the school each year, thus creating a negative stigma and envy towards the students who do pass. The school is known for its academic excellence, being the top ranking school for Victorian Certificate of Education (High school diploma equivalent) results, and constantly outranking other schools in the state.

1: I go to Melbourne High School
2: You go to Melbourne High School? That's gay dude.
(person 2 is being salty because he failed the entrance exam)

by JoeytheJoey January 28, 2024

Melbourne Stars

The worst cricket club to ever walk the planet. The definition of poverty and choking in 1 franchise. Can’t stay healthy and should be replaced

Girl:“ I’m depressed”

Men: ‘At least you don’t support the Melbourne Stars’

by DeshaunWatsonsMassagePalace December 13, 2022

Melbourne

The Ohio of weather. Especially in Spring and Summer.

Non-Melbourne resident: There was a tropical storm five seconds ago. Why're there meteor showers?
Melbourne resident: Man, you can't trust the weather in Melbourne.

by GOD DAMMITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT December 18, 2022

Melbourne

Absolute shithole, you can find it in Victoria, and because its in pom land there are lots of stabbings shootings and Rangas out to steal your sunscreen, to much fucking traffic, it takes 4 hours to get to fucking maccas and even thats just 4 km away, absolute shithole, once again full of pigmies

Guy 1: should we go to Melbourne

Guy 2: fuck that shithole lets go to the middle of fucking nowhere

by Mika Job October 22, 2020