Hemingway Defense

Where the stress and work of artistic expression is used to excuse substance abuse, chemical dependencies and other toxic coping-mechanisms.
"I also employed the world-famous Hemingway Defense... which goes something like this: as a writer, I am a very sensitive fellow, but I am also a man, and real men don't give in to their sensitivities. Only sissy-men do that. Therefore I drink. How else can I face the existential horror of it all and continue to work? Besides, come on, I can handle it. A real man always can."
-- Stephen King
by The Logical Fallacy February 17, 2023
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defensive wounds

a) wounds, mostly on hands/arms, a victim gets when trying to fend off an attacker

b) (joke) scratches on the back a man can get after wild (but consentual) sex
a) The victim had defensive wounds all over his forearms, cuts from a small knife.

b) Hey! You have defensive wounds all over your back! Your GF is a real scratcher!
by jjolson January 03, 2011
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The Clintonian Defense

The Clintonian Defense is when someone does something wrong (and it was obviously wrong) and says that they didn't know it was wrong and therefore should not receive any punishment.
Man, didn't know I'd get a ticket if I ran that red light. I'll use the Clintonian Defense to get out of a ticket.
by Styxgoyenhammer666 November 28, 2017
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Canadian Defensive

Similar to the Roman War Helmet, except you put your anus on their nose, place your balls on their chin and let your penis extend down their throat.
Brendan passed out early, so I gave him the ol' Canadian Defensive.
by Bryan November 20, 2004
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defense of the ancients

an old game, its acronym is dota

it has a fucking sequel jesus fucking christ
Guy 1: who the fuck plays defense of the ancients in 2017?
by ProtoLink October 11, 2017
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MW Defense

The MW defense is applied to any situation when someone informs you of your actions during the night before's drinking. if your actions were a bit out of order or caused a little hassle you defend by replying "but it was funny, right?"

if the reply is yes then chances are you got away with it.

so named for the fact MW aka Mikk Savage aka Michael Werninck coined the phrase and used it frequently.
The MW Defense
Rockwell informs MW of his actions at Jonny's 21st, namely saying getting wasted and then threatening to kill Jonny's dog, before hiding under a table amongst other things

MW: yeh but it was funny right?

Rockwell: it was.... then it wasn't
by El Prydero November 05, 2010
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Defensive Shopping

Buying presents for acquaintances out of fear they might surprise you with a gift.
"Great!" I'll have to start my defensive shopping tonight after work. I have a bad feeling Peggy's gonna surprise me with one of those sweaters she loves to knit for Christmas.
by Adam (______) The Person December 17, 2008
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