rat-assed

To be completely drunk , stonned or otherwise incapable.

Last night i was completely rat-assed.

by zoso May 19, 2005

half-assed

Job/task/chore done without putting too much effort in it.

Those Americans did such a half-assed job on the previous example of the "half-assed" definition.

by brownPower July 17, 2006

ASSED

A state of not being in a normal state, whether its a result of drinkin too much, smokin too much, etc. or just being abnormal in ur "normal" state. Typically, it's utilized with a slew of other swear words or misspelled when typed because of an inability to properly spell when one is intoxicated. You may also want to stress the word "ass" when using the term, enunciating it as obnoxiously as you can. Now, one may ask why you need this word when you have the words "drunk", "faded", "hammered", "shitfaced", "inebriated", "hamsauced", "blazed", "stoned", "fucked up", etc. First of all, consider the word "ASSED" a universal term to describe the intoxicated state youre in. Instead of sayin youre drunk n high, you can say youre ASSED. Secondly, if you are in fact ASSED, you are far more intoxicated than the other words indicate. Finally, the term ASSED always has to be spelled in all capital letters to emphasize how it sounds wen it is used and to get the full meaning across.

The word originated wen a group of college students from the Bay Area went on a trip to Tahoe n were ASSED for 3 days strait. Once the word was uttered for the first time, it caught on like a hook to a fishs mouth n a whole family of similar words wer created, includin SHASSED, COCKLED, n SHASSCOCKLED. The word spread like an STD to the students respective colleges, rangin all da way from UCLA n USC 2 Yale n has finally made its way to urbandictionary, where da official definition is solidified 4 life.

-"Hey, are you ASSED?"
"DUDE, I AM SO ASSED"

-"Hey, how ASSED are you??"
"DUDE, I'm more ASSED than a shitbitch off the cock of her tits dicking the fuck of the shitter"

-"Im tryna get ASSED tonight so I can get some ASS and fuck the assdick of the cockfuck in the bitchtitcunt"

-"Shit is FUCKED right now. IM ASSED"

-"Shitfuck bitchshit asscock nutdick dicked in the nip." <- Something someone might say if they were ASSED

by SASsed January 17, 2010

Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.

"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

asselfunkel

similar to a dingleberry, an assfunkel is a slang term referring to vestigial remnants of feces attached to the ass, butt hole hair, and/or butt crack. They are often the result of not wiping well enough after crapping or not wiping at all. In most western cultures asselfunkels are considered a symbol of poor hygiene and are in bad taste....very bad taste.

Bob: Hey Tom, what's that on your ass? did you sit on a box of raisins or something?

Tom: Ooops! It's just a cluster of asselfunkels! Got any toilet paper?

by carionboy March 24, 2010

assecution

To conquer/destroy an ass in a sexual or violent way.

The pornographic film we stole from my dad's desk had an assecution scene.

by Legionlovesllamas April 14, 2015

asseline

Vaseline derived from a homos ass

john loves to lather his abs up with asseline

by hung wang chung April 4, 2017