Sledge Hammer Surprise

The uncommon sexual act where the male claims he is about to ejaculate upon ones' face, but instead slams them in the face with their sturdy, hard schlong with enough force to leave a bruise.

"At a unanimous vote of 11-4, I hereby find you guilty of 1st degree murder of a young girl caused by blunt force trauma, as a result of this, so called, 'Sledge Hammer surprise'."

by GoodOldNO_NAME August 26, 2017

ass hammered

When someone's really, really angry. Devastating rage, self-destructive behavior, and often nonsensical disengenuous cursing... to the amusement and deight of others. Often inflicted by shitposting and irl trolling.

Mark Zuckerberg was ass hammered when he realised he can't stop me from making new fake shitposting accounts..

by Give me the zucc May 28, 2018

TI-84 Sledge hammer

A sledge hammer that instead of a regular steel hammerhead, has a TI-84 on it. The TI-84's superior structural quality allows for more accurate and harder swings. Also calculates the best trajectory needed for the most optimal outcome.

"I bought some shitty sledgehammer from whore depot and the head instantly fell off"
"Bro just go to howes and buy a TI-84 sledge hammer. Best purchase i have made ngl"

by Oh god where is my glube November 16, 2022

Packing hammers

Packing hammers is when you pack chew right in the bottom lip till ya can't fit no more

Holy fuck bois let's pack some fucking hammers tonight fucking full sends only! See Jimmy he's just packing hammers

by Jaytime October 11, 2019

The Hammer

The hammer is an insulting sequence of words, backed by fact beyond reasonable doubt, which leaves the recipient speechless and without a comeback.

The dropping of the hammer should always be used with great discretion.

1. Guy: Why are you so ugly?
Girl: Same reason your penis is so small.
Random witness: *raises hand over head as if holding a hammer* "THE HAMMER!"

2. Randy has been dropping hammers all day.

by JD4thebest October 25, 2012

Hammer Pussy

A curled up arthritic vagina that needs a hooked dick to get off.

“I hope you’re Captain Hook, because Alex got that hammer pussy.”

by ChronicPoet July 26, 2025

hammer pantaloons

Hammer pant capris with an elastic band just below the knee. So fetch.

She was wearing hammer pantaloons in the club and all the 80s kids were lovestruck.

by Mariztyk May 30, 2017