Step 1. Get more shitfaced than you've ever been in your entire life.
Step 2. Find someone you've only ever met once, like that one massive
bitch from highschool who always used to fuck that one fuckmuffin at school but everyone secretly wanted to fuck anyway.
Step 3. Using telepathy to brainwash her and/or the threat of killing her entire family with your jackhammer shoes, get her drunk off her ass.
Step
4. Go back in
time and double check that she'
s still a good lay while she's drunk.
Step 5. Come back to the present. If step
4 showed she's no good in
bed while drunk, start over at step 1.
Step 6. If step
4 showed that she's still good in
bed even while drunk, engage in at least 17.32 bases with her.
Step 7. Eat pi.
Step 8. Eat
pie.
Step 9. Use your reality warping superpowers to bring comic
book and/or video game characters to life that you want to fuck.
Step 10. Fuck the characters you brought to life in step 9.
Step 11. Repeat at least 41 more times.
Step
12. Engage in base 42.
Craig: "Yo, Jake, you'll never guess where I've been for the past week and a half."
Jake: "You're absolutely right, Craig. I won'
t guess."
Craig: "Fine.
Whatever. I'll just tell you. I got to 78th base."
Jake: "... What the fuck is
wrong with you, man? Why are we even friends? And how the fuck do you even eat pi?"
