close the register 

a pleading to someone to cease using sarcasm or dry humor. Principly used when the third party fails to understand the joking nature. Originated in episode 3F07 ("Marge Be Not Proud") of The Simpsons, when Jeff Albertson (AKA Comic Book Guy) says to Bart "Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point..."

first guy: "...and the other gynocologist says "Fund us? We're lucky she doesn't sue us!"
second guy: "Uhhh, ok."
first guy: "Gynocolgist? Fund us? Fundus?"
second guy: "I don't get it."
third guy: "Oh, Jesus, Pete! Just close the register!"

close the register by Awful Show Keyz September 28, 2006

close the register 

a pleading to someone to cease using sarcasm or dry humor. Principly used when the third party fails to understand the joking nature. Originated in episode 3F07 ("Marge Be Not Proud") of The Simpsons, when Jeff Albertson (AKA Comic Book Guy) says to Bart "Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point..."

first guy: "...and the other gynocologist says "Fund us? We're lucky she doesn't sue us!"
second guy: "Uhhh, ok."
first guy: "Gynocolgist? Fund us? Fundus?"
second guy: "I don't get it."
third guy: "Oh, Jesus, Pete! Just close the register!"

close the register by Awful Show Keyz September 21, 2008

close crop 

1) third string wide receiver for the Hackensack Comets.

2) Someone who does a lot of stupid things

3) Nickname for someone who rocks a close crop hairstyle for almost all their life

1) Yo, check out my dude close crop sitting on the bench

2) Hey man, look at that close crop trying to spit to this girl that already go out with someone

3) U know what, since u always get a close crop, ima call u Close Crop

close crop by Medina Pedro February 5, 2008

close your butthole

if i kid in math class keeps farting, tell him to close his butthole!!

CLOSE YOUR BUTTHOLE,so vanessa doesnt have to keep spraying perfume. im trying to do my warmup so could you please close your butthole?

close your butthole by kcisnotawelse December 3, 2007

Close but no cigar 

In the 19 century cigars were given as prizes at county fairs. If you didn’t win they would shout. “Close but no cigar!”

I came in second place. Close but no cigar.

Close but no cigar by Mzbinks October 12, 2018

Close-Minded

Someone who does not have the mental capacity to accept gender as something other than a dictionary definition.

Wow, Dom is so close-minded.

Close-Minded by LiterallyMe August 13, 2014

Close Quarters Combat 

The act of Eiffel Towering a midget, allowing the chest of both men to rub together.

"Dude, that was a great round of 'close quarters combat'."

Close Quarters Combat by Duke of Deerfield September 18, 2017