A school where the staff famously hand out detentions for fuck all. Having your shirt untucked for half a second may land yourself in detention on a Friday
eve. The rule was introduced in conjuction with the
local Spoons to lower the number of
chavs and roadmen drinking there.
In
2022, the school painted a red border around the perimeter. Students seen "crossing into the badlands" are executed at
dawn. Also introduced were exit/entry rules heavily influenced by soviet repression in the Gulags. Russian
prison uniforms are preferred by students to what they currently wear (due to incidents of pupils overheating) "The blazers are 100% polyester sourced from Aldi," say the school governors "we buy them all during sale season and use cheap indian labour to sew on the
house badges, it makes us look like Hogwarts!"
Prospective students of the school should be aware of CCTV in the lavatory blocks closely monitored at all times by the "establishment". This is to to cut down on incidents of roadmen gathering,
vaping, drug use, spell casting and other suspicious activity.
As part of their art program, graffiti dominates on many of the walls. Art includes male genitalia, violent language, opinions of teaching staff and "Tick if you're bored" interactive art installations. Experts believe that in thousands of years the various collections will be excavated to teach
future humans about the "lost generation" that were humiliated and punished here.
Person 1: "Hey fam, you go to St Ivo Academy?"
Person 2: "Yeah blud"
Person 1: "How da fuck you make it out alive every day?"
Person 2: " On my e-
scooter, but i'm close to throwing myself off the
top of the
science block...."
