When a British person either
a) Looks back on a bit of British colonial history they thought wasn't that bad
b) Hears someone promoting colonialism
And in response, their entire body clenches up
a) Looks back on a bit of British colonial history they thought wasn't that bad
b) Hears someone promoting colonialism
And in response, their entire body clenches up
by TheSnazzyJacket March 5, 2021

Colonial Middle School is a place that will make you want to kill yourself. You will not meet anyone nice here unless you are a 5’1 busty Latina with quadruple f cups, a white or white washed bony girl yielding Starbucks, a privileged Caucasian male with the same copy and paste ice cream scoop haircut, or a black kid who leans into the stereotypical black boy/girl stereotype for the amusement of said white males. If you don’t like any of these descriptions, I would recommend running for the hills FAR FAR away from this school. If you’re already enrolled, prepare to be outcast, a lifetime of therapy, or death. If you still decide to come for the academic aspect, you will be sorely disappointed. The teachers refuse to teach and have an outburst when the students test scores reflect this. If you happen to meet a teacher who is nice to you and CAN teach, they are most likely a pedophile. Not only this, I would not feed any of this school food to Jeffery Epstein. It is often expired, undercooked, or is simply “straight up ASS.” The bathrooms are also FILTHY. If there aren’t popular kids slurping on geek bars like their lives depend on it giving you dirty looks for simply needing to use the bathroom, there are shit, period blood, or piss on the floors and walls. In short, do not attend this school if you do not have the funds for rehab after graduation.
by nooodiabetoorollbacktokitchen July 16, 2025

by Emialiefhsdf August 16, 2017

A specific subdivision of white fever or other racial fetishes. They don't just want ANY person of that race, even if they're objectively better looking, they only and exclusively want someone from the exact same countries that oppressed their ancestors. It's like a kind of sexual revenge. This is most common with Indian women after English D or Jewish women who crave Germans. It's a very Stamp on me Daddy kinda creepy. Verify a woman with a fetish doesn't have this. She might just be using you for your sperm and expecting you to foot the bills, unlike all the IVF costs of using a proper sperm bank, which her family would never allow to save face.
"Our third cousin Sangita got married last week."
"To who?"
"Some bland, chubby, short white guy, according to her socials."
"Ew, why?"
"Colonial fetish, she insisted he must be English according to family."
"That's gonna end badly."
"Yeah, she probably needs some therapy."
"Why did he marry her?"
"He thinks he can rescue her, from her own culture. She called our men abusive."
"That's definitely gonna end badly. Our men aren't like, terrible, she's just too picky."
"Doesn't every colonial fetish end badly?"
"True. I give it a few years."
"Same. She just wants a kid out of him but he has no idea."
"Let's stay out of it."
"Agreed."
"To who?"
"Some bland, chubby, short white guy, according to her socials."
"Ew, why?"
"Colonial fetish, she insisted he must be English according to family."
"That's gonna end badly."
"Yeah, she probably needs some therapy."
"Why did he marry her?"
"He thinks he can rescue her, from her own culture. She called our men abusive."
"That's definitely gonna end badly. Our men aren't like, terrible, she's just too picky."
"Doesn't every colonial fetish end badly?"
"True. I give it a few years."
"Same. She just wants a kid out of him but he has no idea."
"Let's stay out of it."
"Agreed."
by paint88 June 30, 2024

by #1 mommy June 18, 2020

Matt, do you love sushi?
The American food?
Yes Matt. That's the consequences of American colonialism.
The American food?
Yes Matt. That's the consequences of American colonialism.
by Pzrple October 3, 2023

a British term for a Canadian or American of English/Scottish/Irish/Welsh descent who came to the future Canada/United States prior to the US War of Independence and never left back home when The United States was formed
when I told someone in an online chatroom the other day that i was a white Canadian male, i was shocked when they called me a traitorous colonial when I'm not even British but white East European.
by Sexydimma January 23, 2017
