jesus heratio christ
jesus heratio christ by Brenten June 28, 2008
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Jesus prank
One of the greatest pranks of this Common Era, begotten by our Savior himself.
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
John 8:12
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
Jesus prank by chazmatazz February 17, 2009
Related Words
Jesus Whompper
Kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, who's parents may have the same trait, and come from the south and brag about how awesome jesus is, even though deep down their awful people.
That new kid from georia is such a Jesus Whompper. He said Jesus loves everyone just before he laughed at the mentally challenged kids.
Jesus Whompper by carlitohasballs April 7, 2009
Jesus Drags
When someone is smoking a ciggarete, and you ask for twos or last drags, they offer you jesus drags. Jesus did not smoke, so they mean they will not save you any.
Jesus Drags by hateallblacks July 4, 2009
Jesus Clean
A hasty way to clean dishes, namely cups. Originating from the christian ritual, the eucharist, in which only the rim of the cup is cleaned w/ a piece of cloth for the next person to drink.
joe: dude lets go
bill: hold on my mom told me to clean all the dishes in the sink
joe: wat are u a caveman? just toss them in the dish washer
bill: its broken
joe: then just jesus clean them bitches and lets go
bill: hold on my mom told me to clean all the dishes in the sink
joe: wat are u a caveman? just toss them in the dish washer
bill: its broken
joe: then just jesus clean them bitches and lets go
Jesus Clean by MaGoo69 January 5, 2011