Ant Parachutes

The undigested, leftover kernels of corn in your shit.

“Hey, Cletus, did y’all see the ant parachutes from my upper decker?”

by Kackmaster July 24, 2022

parachute pals

Friends who can be counted on to "catch you as you fall" and/or "ease your descent" --- i.e., they'll always "be there for you" during times of emotional distress, offer helpful ideas/cautions, etc.

Anytime an on-line "friend" whom I have not met yet (and therefore I cannot be sure if that person is reliable or "for real") invites/requests/allows me to go and meet him somewhere, I always peruse the map to see if any of my "parachute pals" happen to live in that same general area, and if so, I call them up first to ask if I may make a "secondary journey" over to visit them for a while if the person whom I was going to meet during my "primary mission" is either a no-show or not sociable/reasonable to me... it helps make the trip not be a total waste of time and travel-expenses, plus I'll have a shoulder to cry on and soothe me in my humiliation and disappointment at my failed attempt to cultivate a new friendship.

by QuacksO July 18, 2018

parachute fap

The act of flapping by gripping a small falice with one's fingertips from above in claw machine fashion where the hand resembles a parachute.

Yo Tommy got a a little dick, saw that tucker parachute fapping in the bathroom.

by Parachutefap May 30, 2019

Platinum Parachute

1. A souped up version of a golden parachute; a significant monetary payout by one's employer.

2: What a golden parachute want's to be when they grow up.

Hey, did you hear what happened to Matt? He threatened to sue and was awarded 8 figures in damages. What a platinum parachute that is!

by Reverend_Dude July 4, 2025

chicago parachute

Four Steps: Go to a strange place with no sleeping arrangements, find a girl, bang her, then stay at her place.

I couldn't afford a hotel so I had to pull my Chicago parachute.

by jugghandler July 5, 2016

Hotel Parachuting

Going to a hotel without a reservation, then making friends with someone in the bar so you can sleep with them.

Staying overnight in New York City. Don't have reservations or much money, so I guess I will be hotel parachuting again.

by 2Legs July 21, 2014

Parachute Protestor

A person whole flies or travels a great distance to participate in a protest that has absolutely no bearing on their lives in any fashion but they feel justified in pushing their narrative even if destructive.

Last week we had a dozen Parachute Protestors at the school board meeting. These folks do not even have children.

by GetOverItNumpty June 12, 2023