Soccer Mom

Bitches who (like Jack Thompson) hate violent video games/ movies and try to censor anything and everything that is evil and/or satanic. She usally drives a huge-ass Minivan and/or SUV. She doesn't buy her kids T rated games, let alone M and AO rated games. To her, up to PG is the only movie rating her kids can watch. She also has an utter hatred for anime. Her kids are usually on the honor roll and participates in many after-school activities as possible (usually soccer). Some other activities her little fuckers might be in is Football, Basketball, Baseball, Band, etc. She sometimes volunteers at their kid's school and goes on school trips with them. Their home computer is installed with NetNanny or some other shit program that blocks "non-approprite material/content". The TV is installed with the V-Chip and has every TV rating show blocked except for TV-Y.

Soccer Moms suck and should die.

by ChaosWolf August 31, 2008

Soccer Mom

30-50 year old white female, middle to upper class who drives an SUV/Minivan, thinks the world revolves around her 'perfect-angel' children. She lives the good life only because her husband is the success. She harbors feelings of inadequacy, and secretly (although she won't admit it) wants to be fucked by black men.

look at the next door wife

by jeff devlin July 14, 2004

Soccer mom

Generally a middle-class to high-class Caucasian woman, 30-50 years of age. She drives a minivan. Doesn't give a damn that all the other kids at their "sweet little angel's" school think they are arrogant brats because they have been raised by a soccer mom. Forbids their kids to listen to any kind of music except Kidz Bop, the suckiest band of all time. Has all the channels blocked on TV except for PBS Kids. Even Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (also sucky channels) are unsafe because the characters are mean to their siblings. (Welcome to reality, soccer moms.) Won't let kids see any movie that's PG-13 or R. If it's PG, she must watch it first. Involves her kids in many after school activities. Won't let her kids use the Internet because you know every website on the Net is crawling with rapists and child molesters and sexual predators and criminals and robbers and murderers. Ugh!

I'm a teenager. So I was spending some of my birthday money and walked out of the store one day with a see-through bag loaded with a pack of tampons, a few shaving razors, some shaving cream, Green Day's Bullet in a Bible, season 6 of Seinfeld, a miniskirt, and a box of movie popcorn. A soccer mom comes up to me and says "Why do you use tampons? Why do you shave your legs? You're too young. Green Day? Have you ever listened to Kidz Bop? They're wonderful. Seinfeld is so inappropriate. Why don't you watch Arthur? You shouldn't wear a miniskirt. And do you know how many calories are in that bow of popcorn?" I told her, "I'm a teenager, moron, so I should be using tampons and shaving my legs. Kidz Bop sucks and so does Arthur, miniskirts are not inappropriate, and I don't watch my weight. I'm only 75 pounds. So SCREW YOU!" She covered her kid's ears and told me not to use that language. I repeated, "SCREW YOU!" and walked away.

by Someone, April 14, 2006

soccer mom speedball

large starbucks coffee and a Klonopin

It's a new epidemic: in the teachers lounge, all women book clubs, ballet studios, dojos - it's being called a "soccer mom speedball", which is a large starbucks coffee and a klonopin tablet, a medication used for anxiety. is your mom taking part?

by bleeeweee September 14, 2010

Pretentious Soccer Prick

Someone that has risen to the pinnacle of soccer affluence. Risen so high that said person can, at will, make others feel inferior to him/her when discussing details about “Football”, “Footballers”, “Football Franchises”, “Football Fans” or any item relating to “Football Matches”.

Acronym: PSP

Jon, can you let me know what the "scarf like" thing that the Liverpool fans are holding up is called? Well Jason the thing is called a Scarf, you moron. Well thanks for clearing that up Jon, you Pretentious Soccer Prick!

by Semi-Retarded Alcoholic February 11, 2010

Finger Soccer

A game in which two males take turns flicking one another’s testicles with increasing intensity. The first one to give up looses the game. Common to locker rooms across the globe

I just won a game of finger soccer, now my balls hurt like hell.

by Wittyusernamehaha January 15, 2022

soccer girlfriend

1. Similar to soccer mom.
2. Mandatory sideline attendance at every game, practice and other events relating to soccer. Helps in decided cleat style and sock color. Responsible for watching over important items during games (i.e cell phones which you must answer, keys, iPods). In any win or loss situation, the soccer girlfriend is rewarded with sweaty hugs and kisses.

Soccer girlfriends drive Hondas, not minivans.

by GrilledCheese September 16, 2008