Jesus's fuck thang
The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.
Jesus's fuck thang by Big Baby Jesus October 1, 2004
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jesus birthday sex
An excuse to do the dirty on christmas day. May be used to avoid the wrath of God for sinning on his son's birthday.
John: Are you free tonight? I need a little christmas lovin, if you know what I mean...
Jane: I'm not sure God would ever forgive me.
John: Don't worry, it's jesus birthday sex. He'll take it as a compliment that we are celebrating His birth.
Jane: Ok! Let's do it!
Jane: I'm not sure God would ever forgive me.
John: Don't worry, it's jesus birthday sex. He'll take it as a compliment that we are celebrating His birth.
Jane: Ok! Let's do it!
jesus birthday sex by Jbislollipop23 December 26, 2009
Related Words
Jesus Freak
Someone who is SO obsessed with Jesus, they will never see anything ever wrong with him, always love him. They will pressure you (annoyingly) about it constantly until you run away screaming.
Gotta kill them all!
Jesus freak: "God is real to you you shouldn't be fake to god he loves you."
John: "What? I was just standing here."
Jesus Freak: "God loves you."
John: "I'm not even religious!"
Jesus Freak: "You should be, Jesus loves you and is deep inside you soul."
John: "AHH SHUT THE HELL UP! YOUR CRAZY!" *runs away*
Jesus Freak: "He's going to hell :("
Jesus freak: "God is real to you you shouldn't be fake to god he loves you."
John: "What? I was just standing here."
Jesus Freak: "God loves you."
John: "I'm not even religious!"
Jesus Freak: "You should be, Jesus loves you and is deep inside you soul."
John: "AHH SHUT THE HELL UP! YOUR CRAZY!" *runs away*
Jesus Freak: "He's going to hell :("
Jesus Freak by annoyedbyjesusfreaks July 13, 2011
jesus shitting christ
noun;adjective:
a term used when something is incredibly fucking supprising or when some one or something is:
A.Fucking Retarded
B.Smells like shit
C. or is stoned OFF THEIR ASSES, rolling, or tripping and did or said something incredibly memorable, rediculous, funny, smart.ect.
a term used when something is incredibly fucking supprising or when some one or something is:
A.Fucking Retarded
B.Smells like shit
C. or is stoned OFF THEIR ASSES, rolling, or tripping and did or said something incredibly memorable, rediculous, funny, smart.ect.
"Jesus shitting christ! I´m tripping so hard, that i saw the tree from Pochahontas!"
"Jesus shitting christ! did you eat a fucking corpse?"
"Britney was really a virgin all that time? Jesus shitting christ."
"Jesus shitting christ! did you eat a fucking corpse?"
"Britney was really a virgin all that time? Jesus shitting christ."
jesus shitting christ by KeViN (nwapsnatas666) September 6, 2006
Jesus Freak
Though this is not going to get likes, in fact, it'll get dislikes, a JF is a true Christian who strives to live his or her life for Jesus. By grace they have been saved from their sins, spending time in his word and choosing to live for him; they tend to be non-denominational, but they may come from ANY denomination, even Catholic. They typically would fall under the umbrella of evangelical. That means they want their friends to know what Jesus has done for them and how much he loves them, and to accept him. They don't try to stuff Jesus down your throat, for they know that you can't, and may share Jesus or may wish to let their life do the talking. Though all true Christians can be labeled JFs, usually those who self-profess to be this are Christian teenagers. It is a reclaimed term, as it originally was a derogatory term used against hippies during the JM of the 70s, but when dcTalk made a hit crossover song called "Jesus Freak" during the 90s, young Christians now use it. They are cool, and may very well be your friend, but their "religious side," causes them to be persecuted. Their irreligious friends try to squeeze it out of them in every way possible, calling them racist, brainwashed, and intolerant, saying that they aren't cool for simply stating the truth out of LOVE NOT HATE. Most are truly legitimately cool people with normal lives that just happen to have been lucky enough to know Jesus.
(Note: True JFs do not live this way as an act, they are genuine people.)
(Note: True JFs do not live this way as an act, they are genuine people.)
Cameron: Do you want to come over tonight and see that movie I talked about? Maybe we can get some girls to come over, and you know...
Josh: Well, as much I'd like to do that, you no perfectly well that I'm a Christian and am not allowed to watch R rated films, nor would I want to... I would want to see the girls though...
Cameron: Oh, dude, I'm your friend, but do you have to throw in Jesus into EVERYTHING. I've told you 50 million times I'm an atheist and don't think God exists. It all just doesn't make very much sense to me. Can you please come over?
Josh: I know you're an atheist, Cam, and that's why I don't want to see you go to... (suddenly he got very quiet)
Cameron: ****? You really think I'm going to **** for not believing in something that doesn't exist and for living a life of sin that I don't have?
Josh: Well, when you put it that way... (silence) But yeah, I believe that because it's the truth, I guess. The Bible says so. I'll come over as long as we don't watch an R rated film. We can watch something else on your huge movie screen. But, will you please come to church, just once with me, this weekend? They have rock music!
Cameron: Fine, can't hurt. I'll come. But can we bring the girls tonight though?
Josh: Sure, but not to have sex.
Cameron: Ugh, you are such a Jesus Freak!
Josh: Well, as much I'd like to do that, you no perfectly well that I'm a Christian and am not allowed to watch R rated films, nor would I want to... I would want to see the girls though...
Cameron: Oh, dude, I'm your friend, but do you have to throw in Jesus into EVERYTHING. I've told you 50 million times I'm an atheist and don't think God exists. It all just doesn't make very much sense to me. Can you please come over?
Josh: I know you're an atheist, Cam, and that's why I don't want to see you go to... (suddenly he got very quiet)
Cameron: ****? You really think I'm going to **** for not believing in something that doesn't exist and for living a life of sin that I don't have?
Josh: Well, when you put it that way... (silence) But yeah, I believe that because it's the truth, I guess. The Bible says so. I'll come over as long as we don't watch an R rated film. We can watch something else on your huge movie screen. But, will you please come to church, just once with me, this weekend? They have rock music!
Cameron: Fine, can't hurt. I'll come. But can we bring the girls tonight though?
Josh: Sure, but not to have sex.
Cameron: Ugh, you are such a Jesus Freak!
Jesus Freak by Jesus Christ,FTW November 11, 2012
Jesus Brick
If someone says something stupid or does something ridiculously awful, Jesus throws a brick at you with a note tied to it "from: Jesus"
The brick can fly around until it has stricken down its target. This phrase is ok to use if you don't believe in Jesus.
The brick can fly around until it has stricken down its target. This phrase is ok to use if you don't believe in Jesus.
Jesus Brick by REALITY, bitch January 8, 2009
jesus christ
jesus christ by SoBsubsidiary> August 24, 2022