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British Turd

1. A person who lived in England for a short time but still uses a British accent.
2. A guy who thinks he knows everything about soccer just because he spent time in England or the U.K.
That guy is such a British Turd. He grew up in Buffalo, lived the the UK for three years, yet still pretends to have a British accent.

The British Turd says "it will be a lovely day on the pitch." He roots for ManU. He lived in England for a couple of years yet he thinks he knows everything about soccer.
by Swampydawg February 7, 2014
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[Turd sandwich]

Something in a deceptively inviting packaging that on closer inspection sickens you.
Oh man, this radio station blows! They play the intro of every good song then they proceed to play some shitty generic rock no-one would've tuned in for. This is Radio Turd Sandwich.
by Ikeaboy January 21, 2015
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Turd Hurdle

Anything in ones way along the most direct path between your current location and the nearest toilet when arriving at the privy is a very "time sensitive affair". These obstacles should be lept over with haste and zeal proportional to how severe a turtle head is in progress.
"Dude, Jibba gambled with some Taco Bell and lost, he stiff legged it all the way to his front door, he opened it up and his dog rushed him, his girlfriend started in on him, and his cell phone rang simultaneously. He proved he has mastered the art of the turd hurdle."
by Mr. Blobfish August 6, 2016
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Turd Embargo

Depending on the context, a "turd embargo" is:

1) A total inability to defecate (i.e. shit) for an extended period of time, or under normal circumstances, because your body has decided to halt the manufacture and exportation of magic butt fudge. Typically caused by diet, drugs, or existential angst. Also known as "severe constipation";

Or

2) Deliberate and systematic exclusion of a specific person from social gatherings because they are obnoxious, loud, creepy, or otherwise socially undesirable, i.e. a "turd".
(Example 1): "Hey Jackhole, there's only 1 bathroom in this bar, and you're holding it up. So take some damned Ex-Lax ; lift the turd embargo!"

(Example 2): "Dude, why didn't you invite my brother to this party?!"

"Because he literally FUCKED my X-Box at the last party, in front of everyone - no foreplay, no lube, not even a god-damn reacharound. It hasn't worked right since then, so he's under a permanent turd embargo."
by Admiral Viggo September 20, 2016
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turd-burn

whe you take a really hot shit while playing footbal. smearing down your pants and burning your pants.
I got a turd-burn while playing football.
by footballgod November 12, 2015
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Turf Turd

When your going for a walk and all of a sudden have to do a number 2 .. so you do it on someone's lawn.
I went to go to my friends last night and had to take a turf turd.
by Triple Trolls July 14, 2017
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Turd-boiler

Turd-boiler refers to a car that is of advanced age and runs like shit. It doesn't run smoothly, hiccupping along and spewing clouds of noxious fumes as it labors along. Also, it is an embarrassment to be seen in, either owning it or riding in it.
Dude, did you the car Dave was driving, that thing is a turd-boiler?!!
by Dr shammy December 24, 2018
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