Lap Spam

A slang term given to the annoying junk mail placed in the folds of your favorite newspapers or magazine. Aptly named after its closely related cousin, e-mail SPAM or its younger brother the internet "Pop-up". Demonstrates a similar surprise to pornographic internet Pop-ups however the surprise is generally related to the sheer volume of literature (approx. one tree worth of paper), rather than seeing your grandma gang-banged by the Collingwood Magpies, while you drink your Double Frappamappachino with extra froth in a trendy internet cafe.

Dude 1: Hey Dude, i was drinking my Double Frappamappachino with extra froth in a trendy internet cafe when i opened my newspaper and was crushed under the weight of an entire forest.

Dude 2: Yeah dude you got a good case of the lap spam

by Scuzzbutt October 04, 2010

happy laps

When one is in their car driving around the same block or up and down the same street to impress someone in their hotted up car (mainly the ladies)

Look at those nob heads doing happy laps!

by Mannydaman May 24, 2006

lap lake

A woman's sexual excitement. Moistness in the panties.

When Justin Timberlake comes on---instant lap lake!

by Bananatini May 17, 2010

Lap Dance

Paying for a piece of ass that you can't touch.

Man that lap dance made me hard and I couldn't even touch it....I've got a case of blue balls.

by Erik March 23, 2005

lap fungus

an animal that is very affectionate lazy and cuddly; a pet that never leaves your lap

my cat has become total lap fungus since i got him neutered

by sidmitch August 15, 2009

Lap burn

A burn, or the burn mark, inflicted by using a laptop (processor heat) on bare skin. Usually from surfing while nude or using your laptop in the bathroom.

After two hours in the bathroom he almost suffered from a second degree lap burn.

by Morris Packer February 21, 2008

Lap Cannon

(n.) a pseudonym for a gigantic cock; an abnormally large penis.

I wish that little honey would come over here and slob on my lap cannon.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009