Kevlar Vest

Kevlar Vest is a term describing a conspiracy theory that is more fact than fiction, the antithesis to a Tinfoil Hat conspiracy theory which is more fiction then fact. Typically investigating a Kevlar Vest conspiracy theory is bad for one’s health, thus you would require a “Kevlar Vest”.

Paul: “All I’m saying is that Epstein didn’t kill himself!”
Sally: *Rips off face, revealing herself to be an FBI agent.*
FBI Agent: “You should have stopped digging.”
Paul: “Aww man, I knew this was a Kevlar Vest Conspiracy.”
FBI Agent: *Kills Paul, frames it as a suicide.*

by chinsaw2727 September 29, 2022

going vest

at prom or another party at which you wear a vest with other fancy clothing over it but it's way too hot so you take off your blazer/tux/suit/whatever and wear your vest on the outside.

DAMN, this tux is way hotter than I was expecting! As soon as I get to prom tomorrow night I'm going vest.

by goingvestguy May 30, 2011

cashmere vest

It's where they guy poops on the girl's chest anytime during sex. Or vise versa.

Oh baby, that was so good! A cashmere vest would make this evening perfect!

by Leviathan72 May 29, 2017

A vest of nipples

The collective noun for nipples. A grouping of more than 3 nipples.

Wow! Look at those Guidos over there with their shirts off, it's a vest of nipples.

by dinky22 September 17, 2022

party vest

An asian style red suede vest usually worn by the first person to get drunk at a party or person willing to party the most.

Exact origins are unknown; analysis reveals it smells funny.

Put away the axe, Ed has the party vest on.

by costas1 October 12, 2008

Miyanna Vest

Tall independent woman normal containing bunions. Often has pockets full of juul pods or apples. Favorite flavor of popsicle is onion or big Luke.

That girl is all over big Luke and Onioun, must be a wild Miyanna Vest.

by Daddy sack love December 12, 2018

vested

money you can actually touch, or cash out as a paycheck/income

out of my $5000 in my 401(k), only 80% of it is vested, which means i can only take out at max $4000. my employer still holds the remaining $1000. the remaining $1000, will be mine after 6 months.

by anon03654643 January 13, 2023