DJ PURPLE AKI
(proper noun)
The absolute menace of Punjabi wedding receptions. Instead of “hands in the air,” man screams: “Boys’ side only, trousers down to your knees — QUAD FLEX FOR THE GROOM!”
So the lads pile onto the dancefloor, pants round ankles, hitting front quads and side chests while the auntiyan clap like it’s the Olympia. Uncles are spilling whisky mid-lat spread, and Nanaji’s trying a vacuum pose with his turban sliding off but then faints due to lack of oxygen. Then disaster — Choda’s cock slips clean out mid-flex. Instead of covering up, he commits: launches into a full helicopter, spinning it in time with the beat.
Dholi Harps doesn’t miss a step — he leans in with the dhol, and Choda slaps his meat right onto the drum skin, each thwack syncing with the rhythm. The hall goes feral. Auntiyan screaming, kids crying, uncles shouting “balle balle!” while filming on Snapchat. Groom’s crying tears of pride as his cousin’s cock provides live percussion.
By the end, shirts are ripped, suits ruined, gulab jamun untouched, and the reception video looks like Mr Olympia meets Brazzers: Southall Edition.
(proper noun)
The absolute menace of Punjabi wedding receptions. Instead of “hands in the air,” man screams: “Boys’ side only, trousers down to your knees — QUAD FLEX FOR THE GROOM!”
So the lads pile onto the dancefloor, pants round ankles, hitting front quads and side chests while the auntiyan clap like it’s the Olympia. Uncles are spilling whisky mid-lat spread, and Nanaji’s trying a vacuum pose with his turban sliding off but then faints due to lack of oxygen. Then disaster — Choda’s cock slips clean out mid-flex. Instead of covering up, he commits: launches into a full helicopter, spinning it in time with the beat.
Dholi Harps doesn’t miss a step — he leans in with the dhol, and Choda slaps his meat right onto the drum skin, each thwack syncing with the rhythm. The hall goes feral. Auntiyan screaming, kids crying, uncles shouting “balle balle!” while filming on Snapchat. Groom’s crying tears of pride as his cousin’s cock provides live percussion.
By the end, shirts are ripped, suits ruined, gulab jamun untouched, and the reception video looks like Mr Olympia meets Brazzers: Southall Edition.
Example in a sentence:
“Bruv, my cousin’s wedding was peak. DJ PURPLE AKI made everyone flex for the groom, then Choda’s cock popped out and he slapped it on Dholi Harps’ drum. Auntiyan fainted, groom was buzzing.”
“Bruv, my cousin’s wedding was peak. DJ PURPLE AKI made everyone flex for the groom, then Choda’s cock popped out and he slapped it on Dholi Harps’ drum. Auntiyan fainted, groom was buzzing.”
by BikBoiCoq August 27, 2025
Get the DJ Purple Aki mug.A fat kid with curly ass hair who likes to bend over and grab his ass cheeks and spread them out so he can shit on a lot of people
by Akies butthole September 6, 2025
Get the Akie mug.by Jam and teacakes November 23, 2021
Get the Akis mug.There are no words to describe what an Akis is.
by The great username November 24, 2021
Get the Akis mug.
Aki's the kind of person who will change your life when you meet her. She has twinkling eyes that assure you whenever you look into them and let you know that everything is okay. She is also hilarious but in a way that will frequently question her sanity. She's amazingly romantic and so if you ever manage to get ahold of the Aki in your life make sure never to let her go, because finding her truly is like finding a floating raft in the turbulent seas of life. You will frequently reflect on your relationship with her and realise just how lucky you are to know someone so special.
Bro 1: Yo do you know Aki?
Bro 2: Who?
Bro 1: The best person you'll meet in your entire life. C'mere, lemme introduce you.
Bro 2: Who?
Bro 1: The best person you'll meet in your entire life. C'mere, lemme introduce you.
by bojanglemcpherson November 21, 2021
Get the Aki mug.