fresh asshole

It’s when the ass hole is so clean u could eat a meal off of it. Also eat to fuck bc the asshole is smooth and smelling clean

This fresh asshole feels so good on my cock Janet

by DREADEDGLORY July 26, 2017

10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum

A set of guidelines that applies to those who which to be found within the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em.

1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.

"It's great to be an asshole, but you don’t want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you’re an asshole. So here are 10 rules to be a proper asshole with impeccable asshole decorum."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"

by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019

asshole

a complete idiot who does stupid things, and usually ends up embarassing his/her self

"He tried to nake a cake in the microwave? What an asshole!"

by bert December 13, 2004

Ashley

short, funny, amazing, sweet girl, often left handed, with exceptionally proficient listening skills. Ashleys make good editors, and have been known to help friends with resumes and essay writing. Also, a female with a tendency to run and jog compulsively. Latent competitive instinct very common, it frequently manifests itself in expert bread baking and marathon sessions of cinnamon roll manufacturing. People known as Ashley have a very high pain threshold while at the same time having little to no tolerance of idiots, fools and bores. An Ashley is not likely to let another person down. Different from most girls even when utterly non-descript, and proud to sing off-key.

Ashley ran 6 miles in 45 minutes today.

Better check with Ashley about that!

by ALM2010 February 3, 2010

Asshole Lessons

Asshole Lessons are special preparatory courses given to douche bags.

Your boss had the whole lot of them.

Jesus, you flippin' ballsacker, what? Have you been taking ASSHOLE LESSONS?

You're, like. the World Champion of sphincters.

by Jacques Asse October 16, 2009

gorilla asshole

when a guy is trying to pork you up the ass but cant find your ass because the hair is as thick as a jungle

Dude Ray was about to pork Colekerby up the ass but cole had a gorilla asshole!!

by Susan Meyer November 10, 2006

asshole insurance

Variant - Something to prevent anal rape.

Inmate 1: You gonn' get ass raped!
Inmate 2: Quite untrue good sir, I happen to have fastened my soap to a lengthy cord, allowing for easy retrieval in the case of dropping it in the showers. I call it... Asshole Insurance

by PastaFiend February 17, 2006