Captain Jorts

The correct nickname for guys who think it's okay to wear jorts. Highly derogatory, because obviously, if you wear jorts, you've already given up on the possibility of ever getting laid.

"That kid over there is such a fag"
"Who, Captain Jorts?"

"Alex will probably never know the ways of a woman."
"Look who's talking, Captain Jorts."

by chizhogg April 14, 2010

Jorts

a combination of the words "jean" and "shorts" used to describe the hideous attire, usually sported by NASCAR afficianados and men over 40. Sometimes Jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always. Sometimes the Jorts wearer lets the Jorts speak for themselves.

While at a baseball game, I noticed a plethora of adult males with no shirts on, drinking copious amounts of beer while proudly wearing Jorts.

by Kelly June 18, 2006

Joetallica

Describes only the most long-haired and metal of people, sometimes used in place of one's name.

That guy is so Joetallica, his long, metal hair blows when no wind is present.

by SHS courtesy of Dan November 26, 2006

jorts

F*ck you, I can dress any way I want.

If you talk about somebody's momma it tends to get sloughed off; if you talk about somebody wearing jorts, you better be ready to fight.

by Forced Earphones July 4, 2009

jorts

jean shorts; stylish casualwear for the unpretentious

Dude, those jorts are slammin'! Did you get them at Penney's?

by Big Moop October 24, 2008

jort shants

Short for jean-short short-pants, i.e. oversized jean shorts.

Damn , homies jort shants game is on point.

by Dave-Z July 23, 2016

jortin off

When a group of male Florida Gator football fans, wearing jorts, are engaged in a pregame ritual that resembles a cross between the Oklahoma drill and a circle jerk and includes participants gyrating against one another and/or chest bumping.

Dude, Jaredd and his Gator buddies were jortin off before the Georgia, Florida game. Jaredd looked like the pivot man.

by FiveFifty November 4, 2019