Wacking Off In My Tool Shed

Addictive behaviour conducted in demeaning and surreptitious circumstances.

(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"

by Master of Procrastination April 10, 2003

blue tool

A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.

"It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!"

by toolguru November 12, 2007

Fuck Tool

A guys penis often used to fix a girl with a broken heart or down on her luck

Kiersten : Thanks Brad for fixing my sink sorry I can't pay you right now my boyfriend keeps breaking the bed and shitting on my furniture when we have sex!
Brad : Hey baby don't cry your money is no good with me anyway hey ive got just the tool to fix your problems!
Kiersten : And what might that be!
Brad : It's the most used tool in my collection!
Kiersten : Oh wow that's an amazing Fuck Tool do you think it could fix me?
Brad : Well it's never let me down yet!
Kiersten : Oh Brad! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! AHH! AHH! AHH! BRAD! BRAD BRAD!
Brad : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jake : Hey what's going on in there!
Kiersten : Oh BRAD! it's so amazing
Brad : Ride em cowgirl!
Kiersten : Yee Haw! Cum for me baby!
Brad : AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jake : What The Fuck! Brad I know your in there get your Fuck Tool outta my girl!

by SlopNChop September 21, 2017

Toolies

Background: Every year in Australia at the end of the final exam period thousands of high school students fly to the Gold Coast for Schoolies week celebrations.

Toolies are essentially pathetic dirty bastards who deliberately holiday on the Gold Coast during this time trying to pass themselves off as Schoolies in order to hit on and sleep with drunk teenagers. Toolies have developed into something of a sub-culture, with thousands of experienced Toolies now making the Gold Coast trip a part of their yearly routine. Toolies have an inability to get laid by anyone other than half-conscious teens. No self-respect, part pedophile, all Toolies.

Schoolie: Hey check out that 30 year old pretending to be a Schoolie, what a desperate fag.

Toolie: Hello, how are you?

Schoolie: Go back to your Toolies friends, wanker.

by Neil K December 20, 2007

not the sharpest tool in the shed

A gentle way to say that someone is just unintelligent.

-Danny failed his third test this week.
-Well, he's not not the sharpest tool in the shed, you know.

by Golan September 23, 2005

Toolbelt

A string of two or more guys following around an attractive female, hoping that their overly eager attitude will get them laid.

The toolbelt is usually used by her to make her seem more attractive, as ploy to impress the guy she is actually interested in.

"So I see Erica brought five dudes to the party. I'm sorry man."
"Ah, don't worry about it, she just brought her toolbelt to try and make me jealous!"

by clint e May 6, 2009

tool time

1) The show within a show on "Home Improvement" starring Tim Allen.

2) What Tim Allen experienced in the prison shower during his three year sentence.

"It's tool time!" said Tim Taylor on the cold open of Home Improvement.

"It's tool time!" said the 280 pound tattooed inmate to Tim Allen in the shower when he dropped the soap.

by teambuildingexercise99 January 19, 2010