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monkeyspank

A jerkoff/wanker. An epithet used frequently by Butt-head to Beavis on Beavis and Butt-head.
"Beavis, you monkeyspank, you'll never get laid because nobody likes you, you're not good at anything and you're a dumbass"
by dilary huff October 5, 2007
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couch monkey

One who does absolutely nothing in life but stay on a couch (not necessarily theirs) and surf the internet or watch tv (not necessarily their computer or their tv). Unlike porch monkeys, who are racially stereotyped, couch monkeys can be any gender, color, or sexual orientation. (There's no need for Randall to "take it back")
Derek: "Man, what does that girl Danielle do all day? She's 23, doesn't go to school, and only works 16 hours a week, if that"

Sunny: "I dunno dude, she's probably just a couch monkey"
by Double Mase June 28, 2010
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Related Words

Le Monke

Le Monke is me. I am Le Monke. You will join my colony. No exceptions.
"Le Monke is our life. Our Truth!"
by TheOneAndOnlyLeMonke October 10, 2019
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Like a Monkey Having Sex with a Basketball

A phrase you say when somebody performs an action improperly or botches a situation.

The phrase originates from New Zealand.
Connor went to kick the rugby ball down the field but it went off the side of his foot and straight out of bounds, after which his coach muttered, "Like a monkey having sex with a basketball."
by RedBeard53 July 13, 2011
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Anal-Dwelling Butt-Monkey

The name Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey, with all of God's powers) gives the little monkey that he makes come out of a gang member's butt in revenge of a previous beating.
"Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy."
by BD August 6, 2004
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18 jamaican monkeys tickle my weiner

A notorious and brutal midget porno, in which a man is severely raped and jerked off by a gang of retarded Jamaican dwarves. It ends with a barrel of spider monkeys released onto the man's exposed and bruised body. They tickle his asshole, which initiates the largest man spooge scene ever filmed. This porno was released in the late 1970's, and can be rented and viewed at your local smut store.
l1k3 dud3 br0! I totally just went down to my local smut store and rented 18 jamaican monkeys tickle my weiner!
by Joey Orgler 3 October 21, 2008
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Left-handed monkey wrench

A fictitious tool. A monkey wrench has no left-handed or right-handed versions. Often used as a practical joke, i.e. telling someone to find a left-handed monkey wrench for you.
"Hey, will you go find me a left-handed monkey wrench? I need to fix this pipe."
by Fictitious Plumber January 30, 2012
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