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Eat a phenomenal dick 

When you use the “fuck around and find out” approach to R&D and end up accidentally reinventing the wheel, literally and/or metaphorically.

The emotional comedown after you’ve realised your stupidity is best described to feel like “eating a phenomenal bag of dicks” or for short, “eating phenomenal dick”.

The phrase relates to and is sprung out of the insulting phrase “eat a bag of dicks”, but is more general and can be applied to others, oneself, and concepts.
Andrew: did you see that Peter invented a bike that has square wheels with tank treads?
Moss: yeah, it actually goes pretty fast, but you eat a phenomenal dick when you start to slow down.

Andrew: yeah, the whole concept eats phenomenal dick.
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When booking a hotel room for yourself, you request two queen sized beds. One for which you eat in, the other is for sleeping. The eat bed is the closest to the door.
“I’m snacking in the eat bed, so I don’t get crumbs in my sleep bed.”
Eat bed by Spirited Chaos April 22, 2023
Related Words

Eat bugs 

To tell someone to F- off, go away, go screw yourself.
Ruoer Murdock told Tucker Carlson to eat bugs on Monday when he was suddenly fired from Fox News.
Eat bugs by cpninja42 April 26, 2023
The correct spelling is "eat-arse".
"Shut up Ashlee. You're eat-arse." ~ Karl
eat ass by Steaver370 September 23, 2004
slang term for someone who sucks at something
dammit, that noob eats it at cs
eat it by cs pwnage February 19, 2004

Eat my kitty litter 

An expression used in anger to convey dislike, disgust, or contempt. i.e. eat shit
You don't like the clothes I'm wearing? Well, you can just eat my kitty litter!

eat his lunch 

Beat someone up really bad and really easily.
Billy: "That guy looks really tough."
Leroy: "Fuck that nigga, I'll eat his lunch."
eat his lunch by HACKSAW May 17, 2014