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Ass Mulch

Ass mulch is a sticky brown substance excreted from the anus. Once excreted it is placed outside in direct sunlight to cake in the heat. The resulting odor can be smelled from a distance of over ten metres and anyone within that radius when the ass mulch is 'Fully caked' will suffer from death. The texture after cooking willm be crispy and crusty like batter on a fish but shit. It can be consumed, but if you want to feel like someone shoved gravel down you throat while dumping in you mouth, be my guest, however the taste has been know to resemble compost mixed with raw sewage and bassil.

There is an alternate way of making Ass Mulch, it can be put in a berlap sack (known as a shittysack) and left to 'mature' at the bottem of your local compost heap. The characteristics are relatively similar to the 'caked ass mulch', only it has a distinct after taste of someone pouring liquified ass cookies down the throat.
Alex: OM MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT SMELL?!?!?!? IT MADE MY NOSE BLEED ITS THAT BAD!!!!!

Tom:It could be only one thing, MY ASS MULCH!!!!! I wondered where it had got to
by Analex January 23, 2009
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mulching

Mulch - wood that is not hard. Made of the same material, but not hard.
Jenna was looking very nice today...I was mulching.
by Mike Studebaker February 17, 2007
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Related Words

mulch pile

noun: hair that sticks out from the edges of a chicks panties.
Dude... she was so fine till I got my head under her skirt and found a mulch pile...time for the mexican gardener....
by Mark January 28, 2005
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Mulchrone

An incredible douche who has an inflated, undeserved amount of egotism. A mulchrone is also someone who harshly rejects anything else that he or she doesn't entirely agree with.

E.G., someone who is full of him or herself.
"Oh, that guy likes Nickleback, and he says nothing else is better. He's such a Mulchrone."

"That Mulchrone, he's so stubborn, he can't accept the fact that I'm entitled to my own opinion."
by RJDJDowntown April 16, 2009
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Mulcahy

A Car Lover. Someone Who Would Literally Do "Anything" To A Car. Found To Take The Term "Dogging" Slightly Differently.
"Eiwwwww Who The Hell Is That?! He's Putting His You-Know-What In That Car's Exhaust Pipe!"

"Oh, That's Just One Of Those Mulcahys!"
by The Ghost Of Colin McRae March 26, 2010
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free mulch cult

Free Mulch Cult also known as FMC, is an internet group of friends. There is 6 active members in this group. Everyone is friendly to everyone.
"Hey have you heard of Free Mulch Cult?"
"Yeah, they are really chill and nice. I wish I was in their group."
by sealweeyee October 19, 2019
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Mulched

To be heavily influenced by drugs or alcohol
Johnson bro we need to get mulched tonight, it's the last night of vacation!
by The voice of the common cock December 25, 2013
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