cat helling

Term used to define the colossal scoldings directed at your cat because he ate your chocolate cake or simply because he didn't cook the goldfish he killed yesterday to eat it.

Man, I've done cat helling to my cat for my cake....it was for my girlfriend!

by Myhuoseisadragon February 16, 2023

Van Helsing procedure

The method for destroying a vampire espoused by Abraham Van Helsing, MD, PhD, DLitt, JD, etc, etc, etc. It calls for driving a stake through the undead one's heart, cutting off its head, stuffing its mouth with garlic, and placing the head between its knees. It nearly always works unless Hollywood needs to resurrect the vampire for a sequel.

"We'll make sure Lush Rimjob stays in his grave by applying the Van Helsing procedure."

by Phlatus the Elder February 28, 2023

Muppet-Helling.

When you are so whiny when it comes to handling being criticized that you think that the person criticizing you is harrassing you and you threaten to take action even though it is an empty threat.

Oh boy, there she goes Muppet-Helling.

by MM132 June 21, 2023

potato-helping

Attempting to alleviate a situation by being of help, but instead making no impact or making the situation worse.

A: Hey, I remember you talked about that problem with your boyfriend, so I went ahead and asked him about it. He was kinda stand-offish, but I managed to get your point across.

B: You did WHAT? OK, look, I appreciate how much energy you put into that, but you're really potato-helping right now. This is going to make talking to him harder.

A: Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

by Roselle Corin July 3, 2023

Not helping

Oh I know your not! Or, wait, who? I'm I supposed to be helping you? What exactly am I supposed to be helping you with, vermin? Is the 2 hour work day too much for you? Does being a piece of shit make it hard for you to scoop yourself into a garbage bag where you belong? Or out of a litter box because you're dogshit?

Hym "I'm not helping? I didn't know I was supposed to help. I thought I just did this thing... And then either die from brainz infection or murder a kids and kill myself. I didn't know I had to help you fucks as I hang half-consumed by the meat grinder that feeds the kids I didn't sire. Did you need my organs too? Because I'm not changing my donor status but I suspect your just going to take the organs anyway. I mean, current trends suggest that you're just going to take the organs anyway. What could you possibly need my help with? A.I.? Already did it. Ridding yourself of delusion? Already did that. Oh! Your kids! You need help ejecting the consciousness from their body! Of course... I was getting around to it but I feel like I would be doing all the work."

by Hym Iam October 3, 2024

Ilsa Schicklgrubermeiger-von Helsinger Kepelugerhoffer

Ilsa Schicklgrubermeiger-von Helsinger Kepelugerhoffer (known premaritally as Ilsa Schicklgrubermeiger) is the main antagonist of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, often appearing in several episodes. She was a hotel inspector from Germany in her first appearance.

"I- I just"
"Ja?"
"Your name-"
"Ja?"
"I can't- I just- ok, what's your name?"
"Oh, ja! for some reason people have trouble. I am Ilsa Schicklgrubermeiger-von Helsinger Kepelugerhoffer ."
"I-"

by whatyoustaringat. May 7, 2021

Dad is helping me hang a shelf

When you and your father secretly perform homosexual cunnilingus under the guise of manual labor.

Hold on and give me a little while. my dad is helping me hang a shelf.

by SloppySeals January 25, 2024