Amish Wank

The act of masterbating without using any form of technology what so ever.

My internet was down so I had to have an amish wank last night.

by lord of the snearch August 11, 2010

Wigan wank

An act of masturbation whilst eating a pie.

"Did you do anything nice for lunch today?"
"No, I just had a Wigan wank in the van before I went round to fix that boiler."

by EmmaBunny December 18, 2020

Cheeky Wank

British slang for jerking off (aka squeezing the snake).

She did not want to have sex, instead she sent me out for a cheeky wank.

by Big Sexy 4 March 3, 2010

wank

predominantely British term for masturbation

Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc

by Master Bates March 23, 2003

Cry wank

The ultimate display of self love/loathing, rubbing one out while weeping, superceded only by the ultimate cry wank, involving weeping while wanking, witha cigarette hanging from the mouth and a beer in your free hand.

I was so sad last night all I could do was cry wank.

by Mr C. Wanksalot July 1, 2005

Kryptonite Wank

A wank which leaves a person exhausted and weak because of the repetitive, strenuous motion of the arm.
The person ends up almost as weak as Superman when he is exposed to Kryptonite.

Person 1: Hey, want to go to town today?
Person 2: I cant, sorry, I'm recovering from a kryptonite wank.

by COOLBEAN.S April 2, 2011

Freedom Wank

The first wank after a long exam season. Involves screaming, "FREEDOM!" enthusiastically at the point of ejaculation.

Saul: Mate, I just had an incredible Freedom Wank.
Tom: Oh yeah I heard! I thought you were watching Braveheart.

by TomAndSaul June 5, 2014