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turd barnacle

A person who is generally perceived to be so incompetent that all tasks given to them invariably turn to shit.

This applies especially to those who (for one reason or another) are not, or cannot be fired, and they drift along clinging to their shitty work, sinking project after project in a craptastic cataclysm of titanic proportions.
I hate dealing with Jenkins, that turd barnacle in marketing. I spell out exactly what I need, and he still manages to screw it up. He's promised the client a rocket powered nose hair trimmer that runs on gummy bears.
by kynaris June 4, 2011
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Barnacle

Car Sales: A person with bad credit who is unable to get a car loan. A total waste of time. Too many of these customers in a month will sink the month, just like too many barnacles on a boat will sink that boat.
That last customer was a barnacle! The Finance department could not get him approved even with $2000 down
by danth666 September 19, 2009
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Related Words

barnacle

An act in which a man masturbates on a bed, and just before ejaculating, jumps up and shoots his sticky goo-nuts to a ceiling. Bonus points if the semen dangles from the ceiling and stays there.
"Yo dude. I just barnacled Jimmy's room."
"That's going to suck when he comes home..."
by Justin Herbert January 10, 2009
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barnacle jenkins

when a girl infected with herpes scoops said herpes from her vagina and proceeds to give a man a handjob
drew: that hooker gave michael a handjob with a herpes hand last night

raf: i bet he woke up with a nasty case of the barnacle jenkins
by taineekewbinpeenus January 9, 2011
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Barnacle

A barnacle is a piece of feces that hangs outside of the toilet water from a prior use of the toilet.
"Oh jesus! Do they really expect me to use this toilet brush on all these barnacles? I don't even live here!"
by Rjn2301 June 6, 2018
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Barnacle

A person who desperately looks to latch themselves onto a pre-existing group that does not wish to expand the group.
Dude, that guy is a total barnacle! We gotta ditch him fast.
by Marc Logan July 7, 2012
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bone barnacle

A herpes sore or genital wart located on the shaft of the penis.
Larry: Dood... Is it true Cashman's got another bone barnacle? Shouldn't he go to the doctor for that?

Gary: Yeah, Man. He just keeps dousing it in Compound W.

Larry: What a choad.
by Jiminy Criquette September 17, 2007
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