jesus dan 

our lord and savior. Has a massive peen and rocks side burns like a bad bitch. We give him offerings such as broccoli soup and children. Is a stripper, and loves to wear socks and sandals 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🥵

person: OMG IS THAT THEE JESUS DAN?!?!
me: yes...he daddy

jesus dan by jesusdanworshipper November 16, 2019

Jesus Chris

jesus christ without the t

hey guys its jesus chris, its without the t

Jesus Chris by JesusTheDestroyer420 July 1, 2020

Jesus Louisus 

An expansion of jeez Louis. Used in bewilderment or frustration, but normally in a humorous tone.

"Jesus Louisus, how many words are in this urban dictionary!?"

"Will you hurry up? Jesus Louises!"

Jesus Louisus by Frostkat December 30, 2020

Jesus v. Deities 

The theological or theomatical equivalent of an identity versus an equation—it is like comparing the infinite solutions of Christ to the extraneous or faux solutions of gods and goddesses.

Without Christ in the equation, it’s just an expression; a false prophet or guru would offer a faux or extraneous solution with quasi-zero suspicion from the flock they’re leading or deceiving—this is why people need to learn about the spiritual truths in the “Jesus v. Deities” eternal war.

Jesus v. Deities by Fasters January 30, 2023

JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION GET IN THE CAR

>:3
Jesus Christ its a lion, get in the car!

Jesus Christ its a lion get in the car

JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION GET IN THE CAR by Ben Tricarico May 14, 2008

Jesus Christ and a half 

Sometimes saying Jesus Christ just isn't enough...

Guy #1: Homie... you got a buck or two I can borrow?

Guy #2: Jesus Christ and a half, Carlo! How many times do I have to fucking tell you? I'm done lending you prostitute money.

Jesus Christ and a half by reid_o April 5, 2009

Jesus Chicken 

The slang term for a chain of fast-food restaurants called Chik-Fil-A. Usually used in a derogatory term to refer to their strongly Christian policies (being closed on Sundays explicitly for their employees to attend church), anti-gay policies and extremely large financial contributions to anti-gay-rights bills and amendments, both of which stem from the owners' interpretations of their denomination of the Christian bible.

I'm hungry, wanna go get some Jesus Chicken?

Jesus Chicken by Joreth November 16, 2011