ass handed

when someone gets completely smoked or destroyed, you say they got their asses handed to them.

The Ottawa Senators got their asses handed to them 9-0.

by matt February 5, 2004

ass pirate

one who digs for burried treasure by inserting his penis inside his partners anus and prodding around

Albert was the most notorious ass pirate in the city, all homosexuals came to him for advice.

by nobodythatuneedtobeconcernedwith May 18, 2003

Ass Cookie

Small shit-soiled pieces of toilet paper that become tangled in ass hair.

"I've got a nest of Ass Cookie Susan, so before you toss the salad let me go shower"

by Nate_Ona February 22, 2007

ass water

Having a case of severe diarrhea in which you urinate from your asshole.

The next time I have diarrhea, I hope it's not ass water.

by Lenard Powerdong August 7, 2006

ass kicking machine

1. (noun) Term for an imaginary device that delivers punishment to one who has presented a sub-standard idea or has committed a critical error. Literally, such discipline may be presented in the form of a harsh lecture.

2. (noun) A mechanical device outfitted with several army boots on a rotating wheel used for automated physical punishment. The receiver is strapped into a stationary position to recieve repeated mechanical kicks to the buttocks until they have realized the error of their ways. Sometimes used for pleasure in sexual situations.

3. (adjective) Slang term used for an athlete or a sports team known for winning by a large margin in competition.

4. (adjective) Slang term used to describe a person of unusually great strength and physical prowess.

1. The Principal was determined to strap at least one of them into the ass kicking machine as he knew they were responsible for filling his gas tank with sand.

2. The ass kicking machine stalled on the 32nd stroke, so Wanda's loose caboose had less bruises than last week.

3. Walter sat eating a sandwich and wondered why he betted against the ass kicking machine that the German Women's Bowling league was.

4. Dude, I'm out. The bouncer is an ass kicking machine and he knows you fucked his girlfriend last year.

by Mickey Nation January 11, 2007

ass punch

The only acceptable way to hit a girl. A closed fist to the ass of varying degree. Appropriate for retaliation or mean/rude comments. Bruising is frowned upon, but is hidden if need be. They can be stored, but must be used within a week, otherwise they are forfeited.

My girlfriend told me I wasn't funny so I had to ass punch her.

I gave her an ass punch cause she gave me a titty twister.

by Right n' History January 22, 2011

ass ripper

1) Extremely painful shit. A very painful dump. A long and painful act on the toilette. Generally caused by lack of fibre and waiting too long to shit. A shit which may require assistance, either medically, or with a rigid spoon-like excavation tool.

2) A term used amongst well known friends, and best not used just anywhere.

1) Scott: "What took you so long in my washroom guy, there aren't any magazines in there when you come over!"
Max: "Duuuude, I couldn't go, I was squirming and standing on my fucking toes squeezing and writhing in agony. It was like I was giving a shit birth. I had a serious ass ripper!!"
Scott: "AW fuck man, not again, I had to replace my toilette last time you used it!!!! Why don't you just go straight to the fucking sewage plant guy and hang over the septic pool before you come to visit!!"

2) Best not used location example-
Max: "I would like to toast the bride whom I have had some special moments with before today - especially last night - I digress, firstly I would like to apologize for my scratchy throat, I spent the last 5 minutes screaming in the can forcing out an extreme ass ripper!"

by psiscott April 26, 2006