Panic Wank

A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.

A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.

"MUM!!"

The game of panic wank begins.

by Panic Wanker October 1, 2009

Pranking and wanking

An english phrase
When you prank call some-one who you have a crush on and you prank them for a week+ and when after you prank them you wank(masterbate) over them

Johnny was pranking and wanking over Sarah

"Hey Dave i keep getting pranked"
"Yeah its probably Eddie pranking and wanking

by Superjordz August 20, 2007

Wank tomb

A secluded place where one goes to browse porn and masturbate. One will often not emerge for some time. Sometimes referred to as a ‘Man Cave’.

I’ve just lost my job so I spend most of my days sealed in my wank tomb.

by Napoledan September 2, 2018

Commando wank

Quick and intense self gratification, usually performed spontaneously anywhere, outside or at work. Once aroused by erotic stimuli ie. co worker, billboard model or you just have too...

Arthur became aroused watching the laundry go round, a commando wank was the only answer.

by jazrowjo August 3, 2009

Wank-Stains

Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.

Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.

Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.

Mom: You sound like your father.

by Eaton Holgoode January 5, 2018

Wank Bladder

The Tiny bladder that contains sperm. Alledged to only hold enough for around 7 wanks.

7 also being the mystical number of wanks before you hit the "wank barrier"

"I got up to seven wanks tonight but I just couldn't cum no more!...Think I emptied the wank bladder!"

Or:
"I tried to get past seven wanks but hit the wank barrier"

by combatstig March 15, 2009

Ball Wanking

Where one man pulls his balls and another man thrusts his penis between them.

I enjoyed ball wanking my boyfriend yesterday, he enjoyed it but boy am i sore.

by sexypoo November 30, 2009