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Shidas Touch

This is the opposite of the Midas touch and easier to say than "Inverse Midas". When everything you touch turns to shit, it's the Shidas Touch.
What the hell!? You sure have the Shidas touch today!

Wow. That was a serious fail. You have the Shidas Touch, kiddo.
Shidas Touch by jgreene777 June 8, 2010

I touch goats 

"I Touch Goats" started off years ago as a standing joke in the Subaru Impreza Driver's Club forums. When the switch to a new forum happened, they gained a fully functional Personal Messaging system with online alerts.

Because of that the need for topics or posts advising people they had a personal message became redundant. By use of the swear filter, common permutations of you have personal message type posts (you have PM etc) are automatically changed to "I touch goats"

The actual origin of "goat-talk" precedes this however, which it is said to have some sort of homosexual connotation, perhaps some sort of off-joke. Anyway, its just a bit of fun...

Spreading outward from the SIDC, this has become near commonplace in many regions throughout the UK, particularly Carterton, Oxfordshire where their connection to their goats is particularly strong.
Poster One: mate, 'I touch goats'

Poster Two: You do what?!?

Poster One: Erm, I meant you have a private message - what happened there?!?

Poster Two: Ha ha, you touch goats!
I touch goats by MattyWR1 May 10, 2011

bad touch dog 

a dog that will attempt to hump anything that stays still long enough determinedly and repeatedly despite being pushed away, yelled at, swatted, etc.
Sarah's bad touch dog is humping the cat again.

ghost touch 

She Gave Ben Good Top.
Ghost Touch: She Stuck It All The Way In Her Mouth
ghost touch by GetTheGhostTouch November 16, 2016

To Much Touch 

having to many touch screen electronics
"dude everything you have is a touch screen! your phone, your ipod, even the remote for your TV!"

"i know man, ive got To Much Touch"
To Much Touch by spadesrider95 December 30, 2008

Tempted to touch

The need to touch someone or something. Especially referring to unwanted touching.
Andrea: lol so that drunk guy kept trying to dance with u all night
Jnet: yeah man he was tempted to touch w his drunk self

or

a guy keeps poking or tickling Jnet
she tells him "God stop being so tempted to touch!!!"
Tempted to touch by Jnet823 January 18, 2010