Maltesers

A chocolate candy that looks like a black man’s bald head.

Ever have Maltesers before? They’re the best. And they look like that niggas bald head.

by CaptainPete2024 November 12, 2023

Pink Malteser

The name commonly referring to a small penis; Malteser being the name of a popular confectionery brand in the UK in the form of small chocolate balls.

"Wow, did you see the size of that guys cock?"
"Yeah, I know! It was about the size of a Pink Malteser!"

by Phantasium August 31, 2012

Puckering Maltesers

The act of shiting oneself in fear so much that you can't retain control of your asshole and so little globs of malteser shaped poo come out uncontrollably.

Manchester United are puckering maltesers at the prospect of playing Manchest City today.

by SebilCrostar August 7, 2025

Pop a Malteser

To kill oneself using means of drugged sweets
To avoid a problem

A man gives you slightly warm maltesers and you question why they are warm

When you’re tired of a situation, the option is there

Ah yeah, Johnny, did you not hear? He popped a malteser last week

This coffee shop makes me wanna pop a malteser

by Barney_the_dinosaur November 23, 2021

maltose

Sugar form of "malto".

He's so awesome, his maltose level is 200!

by St3ph3n H4wk1n6 September 28, 2005

Maltenease

A fucking mumbling idiot usually named shane

Person 1: *mumbling shit as always*
Person 2: are you speaking maltenease?

by Hetho November 6, 2018

Maltose Mommy

The female version of a Sugar Daddy.

A rich, older woman who gives gifts to young boys in exchange for love and other sexual favors. Make excellent shotacons and have incredible ara ara potential. If you yourself are a shota, approach with caution, as a Maltose Mommy can be quite alluring and dangerous at the same time.

Argentenuem on Twitter: Forget about having a Sugar Daddy. How about a Maltose Mommy? Women shop better anyways. Where all the mommy dommes at?

by Argentenuem April 27, 2019