masturbate

Something Everybody does I mean EVERYBODY!!! (except people with cameras in every room, but the fund a way around it)

I masturbate every night!
It's Too FUN!!

by Masturbate is good! August 7, 2005

Masturcate

To eat and masturbate at the same time

Since he was very busy, Calvin would masturcate to save time

by tmHK October 31, 2011

Shotgun Masturbate

To shotgun masturbate is to be able to jack off in one swift, shotgun pump-esque motion. This is due to the girl you are masturbating to being so ridiculously hot, that one shotgun pump motion is all you need.

Guy #1: Dude, how hot is she?
Guy #2: I swear, I could shotgun masturbate to her.
Guy #1: Really? I don't believe?
Guy #2: No lie. I swear. Just chk, chk, boom.

by TCT1 April 20, 2010

Masturbate

For guys only; If you want a really good orgasm quickly, then go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and cover the shaft of your penis with toilet paper. Move the toilet paper up and down, while pressing hard on your penis. The orgasm leaves you breathless, and I shot sperm about a foot and a half. FEELS GOOD.

Damn, I used to toilet paper to masturbate, and I think I was in heavon-on-earth.

by Master Bater. May 28, 2008

masturbaters

one who jerks it not only multiple times a week but multiple times a day. the kind of person you would find beating there dick in your own house or even infront of you. A person who if gets stuck in an elevator for even 5 minutes will have already wacked their magic stick once or twice. A kind of person you would find in the middle of math class with their hand in their pocket wiggling around alot letting out akward grunts. A person who can cry white tears just looking at a barbie doll.

-pete: *wiggle wiggle grunt* "Teacher may i go to the bathroom"

-teacher: "thats the second time this hour pete.."

-pete: " Im sorry I drank alot of OJ juice today (actually bj juice) I have an overactive bladder" (well he has an overactive something thats for sure)

by Whatever April 6, 2005

masturbate

I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!

by Dr. Whosis December 20, 2009

Masturbate

Guys- To rapidly yank your crank.
Chicks- To use variouse toys and satisfy yourself, or an electric toothbrush.

It is quite understandable.

by Maddie April 17, 2005