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Reasons someone has made up to explain why they lost in a game and not that they're just bad at the game. Usually Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Winner: GET DUNKED ONNNNNNNN!
Loser: I lost because my back was hurting, this chair is uncomfortable, you were spamming, they were in the way of my vision, Ect.
Winner: Come on dude, no johns.
johns by Piktamin U October 23, 2020
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In competitive gaming or sports, "johns" is a widely accepted term for excuses the loser will often use as to why they lost. Typically these range from reasonable to the absurd.

May be related to psychological defense mechanisms in response to losing in competitive situations.
Winner: "Good match. That was a close one."

Loser: "I didn't have breakfast this morning, that's probably why I lost. And my controller sucked. Oh, and I would have mercked you if it wasn't for my hands getting sweaty towards the end."

Observer: "Quit making Johns, dude."
johns by MartinE. April 6, 2008
St. Johns College in Cambridge, England. Full of Johnians. Far inferior to anywhere in Oxford.
"Oh, I'd rather be at Oxford than at Johns"
Johns by Viking Adam May 18, 2006
to jones or crave/want something
buddy, i johns that girl over there
johns by Lightning Magg May 4, 2005
1.toilets,crappers,hoppers,shitters

2.men who pay prostitutes to give them STD's
two johns = twice the diseased shit!
johns by Kerry and Edwards suck October 17, 2004
An item, or an object. Normally referred to in a hood manner.
Gabe: aye homie, where dem’ Johns at?
Or
Steph: I didn’t iron my pants
Gabe: damnnnnn, dem’ Johns wrinkly
Johns by Big slimmy April 20, 2019
1.toilets,crappers,hoppers,shitters

2.men who pay prostitutes to give them STD's

3.A couple of Democrappers!!!!!
two lawyers = twice the shit
johns by Kerry and Edwards blow October 17, 2004