A tall, homeless looking skeleton with an
ugly goatee, manbun, and always wears the same American flag tank top. Literally every fucking
day. Has not worn anything but shorts since December of 2017, and even that was
like seeing Jesus’ second coming.
Common phrases to trigger the beast include, “I’m sÃyin”, “Ight cool”, “ya.”, “can you hang at any point this {insert unit of time measure here}”, “bet Steve bet”, “Zach would kick your
ass”, “bro why am I always the punching bag?”, etc.
The JAG’s natural habitat is a moist, humid swamp full of wet towels,
onion spoons, and broken off-brand vapes.
Person
1: “honestly bro, I’m sÃyin”
Person 2: “bro relax, you sound
like a JAG”
Person
1: “why are you telling me this?”