2 definitions by Moist Cow
A tall, homeless looking skeleton with an ugly goatee, manbun, and always wears the same American flag tank top. Literally every fucking day. Has not worn anything but shorts since December of 2017, and even that was like seeing Jesus’ second coming.
Common phrases to trigger the beast include, “I’m sÃyin”, “Ight cool”, “ya.”, “can you hang at any point this {insert unit of time measure here}”, “bet Steve bet”, “Zach would kick your ass”, “bro why am I always the punching bag?”, etc.
The JAG’s natural habitat is a moist, humid swamp full of wet towels, onion spoons, and broken off-brand vapes.
Common phrases to trigger the beast include, “I’m sÃyin”, “Ight cool”, “ya.”, “can you hang at any point this {insert unit of time measure here}”, “bet Steve bet”, “Zach would kick your ass”, “bro why am I always the punching bag?”, etc.
The JAG’s natural habitat is a moist, humid swamp full of wet towels, onion spoons, and broken off-brand vapes.
Person 1: “honestly bro, I’m sÃyin”
Person 2: “bro relax, you sound like a JAG”
Person 1: “why are you telling me this?”
Person 2: “bro relax, you sound like a JAG”
Person 1: “why are you telling me this?”
by Moist Cow August 15, 2019
A soggy old hag, typically a 55+ year old woman who frequently engages in sexual intercourse and scares young children. Usually an educator.
by Moist Cow February 14, 2017