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Lennart Poettering

A somewhat well-known author of surreal horror fiction from Germany, Lennart Poettering is mostly known for writing overly long and confusing works such as Pulsations of Autophilia (a tragedy about a sluggish autistic teenager who is murdered while fucking his uncle's Porsche and comes back as a ghost to seek vengeance) and Systems Down (about a server administrator who finds himself locked in the server room after closing time with a horrible, memory-corrupting abomination).
I picked up this new book at Barnes and Noble, but it says that Lennart Poettering is required reading so I'm taking it back.

e-pottering 

The act of accidentally squandering several hours (or days) on your computer while not doing anything in particular. e.g., YouTubing “just one more” vid, re-filing mp3s, looking up friends of friends of friends on Facebook, wading through MySpace band requests, Tweeting randoms, browsing for the definition of your own name on the Urban Dictionary etc...

The activity distorts the time perception of the e-potterer in such a way that an apparent 1 min of e-pottering time equates to roughly 1.5 Standard Earth Hours (as perceived by partners, friends, family and the fascist time police at your place of work).
Dude 1 - Bro, you look knackered today were you out late partying?
Dude 2 - No such luck man, I was just up until 4am this morning e-pottering.
e-pottering by The Purple Princess December 11, 2009

Portering 

A verb (pronounced "Porter-ing") that describes when a person plays a multi-player video game (such as Halo or Smash Bros.) and sits on the sidelines while the other players fight and kill each other. When only 2 out of all the players fighting are left, the one who took this action tends to win because he did not do anything and angers the other players.
"Freakin' Mike won againg because he was portering the whole time!"
Portering by dube56 May 12, 2008

Ploutering 

Generally whilst muntered, on a hunt for nothing in particular yet looking for something of interest.
Hey Senga ya bucket, check that double dunted cunt o'er there. He's heavy oot oan day release doin' a bit o' pure mad ploutering!
Ploutering by Splocious January 22, 2012

Pottering 

Occupying oneself in an aimless but pleasant way
Ram was pottering around
Pottering by Rishav February 19, 2018

Poultrinate 

to incorporate chicken into a meal.


to puss out of a situation.
That was pathetic watching you poultrinate your way out of that one.
Poultrinate by shane mcgehee October 6, 2008