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Crapsturbate 

When you jack off to porn that involves, well, shit.
Ebby: 2 girls 1 cup always makes me crapsturbate.
Me: Well it always makes me throw up.
Crapsturbate by Tikibarberfan July 12, 2010

crapsturbate 

the act of using a fecal bomb as an excuse to leave your group of friends when you are only leaving to go masturbate.
Person 1: holy shit to a have to crap!
Person 2:nah, i see your boner, you are just trying to go crapsturbate.
Person 1: no i'm not
Person 2: yes you are
Person 1: this conversation is long
Person 2: yes is it, are you going to crapsturbate or not?
Person 1 leaves to masturbate.
crapsturbate by SuperGurustyle June 29, 2010

crassturbation

The act of masturbating at an extremely inappropriate time, with little respect for the feelings of others in the vicinity
John: Bob, we're at a fucking funeral, stop jerking off in the corner!
Bob: Why? Masturbation is perfectly healthy!
John: That's not masturbation, that's crassturbation.
Bob What's that?
John: Look it up on Urban Dictionary.
crassturbation by derpymuffins June 18, 2014

crapsterbate

the act of taking a crap while masterbating to save time
computer nerds do it most often while taking a break from WOW or halo or any other of that stupid shit
marvin took a break to crapsterbate after four solid hours of unreal tournament
crapsterbate by mr.salty May 28, 2006

Crasturbating 

Crying whilst masturbating. Mostly over departed girlfriends.
Kevins crasturbating over Katie.

Clapturbate

When you swing your penis up and down so it goes between your legs. When it goes between your legs it will reach between your ass cheeks and your ass cheeks will clench on your penis and you will pull it out rubbing along the taint eventually leading to ejaculation. Right before your penis gets clenched between your ass cheeks it makes a huge clap noise upon impact so you are essentially clapping your cheeks. This works best with shit stains in your ass cheeks, they work as a lubricant.
When ever I clapturbate my family hears me and complains they worry it will give me an STD.