wanky doodles

Stains of cum in the sheets of a bachelor, typically forming silhouettes of cats, dogs, Che Guevaras... you name it!

I am not going to sleep in that bed with those disgusting sheets full of wanky doodles!

wanky doodles by Halevi January 29, 2015

Wanky biscuit 

A game played by (normally drunk) men. It involves the participants standing in a circle with a biscuit in the middle. The game players must then masturbate onto the afore-mentioned biscuit. The last one to shoot his load is deemed the loser and therefore, as a forfiet, he has to eat it.

It is a game that many people are aware of, yet few will confess to having ever played.

The winter evenings rolled by with the help of our frequent games of wanky biscuit

Craig's tummy has never been the same after he lost that game of wanky biscuit.

Wanky biscuit by Wednesday Club King September 22, 2009

Wanky House

Wanky house is a definition used to describe a rubbish to average collection of beats and synth lines around 120-130bpm. Whilst a lot of house music is well produced, interesting and makes for highly pleasurable listening, Wanky House is of poor quality, boring and one ‘tune’ is highly indistinguishable from the next. It is usually only made and listened too for the sake of making and listening to house music. Producers of Wanky house usually only use the pre-sets supplied with the torrented copies of Fruity Loops they possess and will only throw in a Vengeance sample if they are feeling adventurous. Listeners of Wanky house usually do so via Youtube rips and low bit rate torrents, further lowering the quality, and are regular takers of ketamine. They also believe that the music they listen too ‘Is real deep man’.

Oh look, Jack is listening to wanky house again...

This Dj is playing wanky house..

Wanky House by Goodvibetribe December 25, 2012

wanky cry 

1) A masterbation which is performed under circumstances of extreme sadness, to such an extent that the masterbater cries.

2) A masterbation which is had because the masterbater is so sad that a wank is the only way to cheer him up.

1) Chaz's wank was so upsetting that it became a wanky cry, and brought tears to all three eyes.

2) So upset at having just been bummed by Cuddles, Dave Walker had a wanky cry to ease the pain.

wanky cry by Tino January 29, 2006

Wanky Doodle Dandy 

A overly dramatic, and rather camp, expression for a male to describe the act of self love (wanking - duh!) based on the film Yankee Doodle Dandy, staring James Cagney.

Hey Shelia, I'm just nipping upstairs for a quick Wanky Doodle Dandy, be down in a few shakes!!!

Wanky Doodle Dandy by Dav3 July 26, 2006

Wanky Bum Poke 

Similar in style to a Pokey Bum Wank, only with less ferocity. More for the casual opportunist than than the full blown sexual misfit. Usually using only one digit.

Hey, i heard that Ghandi was photographed having a pokey bum wank last night? Na....it was just a quick wanky bum poke, he was in a hurry

Wanky Bum Poke by The Lo-Brary December 16, 2008

Wanky Hanky 

A piece of fabric used for mopping up semen after masturbation. An ideal wanky hanky would be about one foot square, in 3-tone cream camo pattern.

"My wanky hanky is so stiff you could surf on it!"

Wanky Hanky by Mark Neilson April 26, 2006