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santa claus 

The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.
Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.

--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!

--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.

Tranny Claus 

A woman dressed in a Santa suit.
Michael Scott: Don't go over there with Tranny Claus. Come sit on my lap.
Tranny Claus by valleymd December 10, 2009

Yenta Claus 

I love her because she loves me and brings me toys. She is the best Hanukkah magic ever!
I asked Yenta Claus to come to my house.
Yenta Claus by Xyreal_95 September 22, 2006

Nigger Claus 

1 Black people santa
2 After that fat bitch come out the chimney covered in soot, looking like an absolute NIGGER
“Hi tyrone, what’ve you asked for from Nigger Claus??”
Nigger Claus by RawrXDSaff January 11, 2018

Yenta Claus 

Jewish folklore, a way cool older woman that's nice and really funny. She brings kids toys, especially us really good Jewish kids who Santa seems to forget, or who because we are Jewish, Santa isn't allowed to sneek into our houses by slipping down the chimney or if you live in an apartment with out a chimney altogether. Just don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer. Pretty please with icecream and sugar on top. I promise to be good all year if you let me believe.
"You'd better not kvetch, or eat chozzerai, You'd better not greps, I'm telling you why... Yenta Claus in coming to town!"

or

"She is such a nice Yenta! And to think we have a real Bubbie that brings the kinderlach such nice toys! Don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer about Yenta Claus or else it's no more toys and back to getting that nasty lump of coal!"
Yenta Claus by Alex _11 September 14, 2006

Danky Claus 

Every Dankmas or Danky morning, day, evening or night Father Cannabis defends his bong of joy to deliver vast quantities of illicit substances to unexpecting but welcoming individuals. Man of few words, Danky Claus appears, jeers the crowd, lights his spliff and has to dip, if you trip he'll help you quick, blowing smoke "OH, OH, OH's" to all before he drips. He is married to a lass named Mandy(UK), or Molly(US) (nee X) and only begins his shift after his time with his wife.

He enjoys vacationing in his houses in Amsterdam, Thailand, and Jamaica, his favourite puffin stuff is Amnesia Haze, but he does enjoy the occasional Skunk. While not tending to the wellbeing of his believers and vacationing he enjoys raves, his hip hop career, and making art. Happy Dankmas to all.
"Fuck man, oh no, where dat weed at!?"
Danky Claus- "Oh yeah! Here dat weed at! Merry Dankmas!"
"Thanks Danky Claus!"
Danky Claus- "Hey its all good my dude, I mean this with all my Dankmas cheer, shut up and have a spliff!"
"Yaaaaaaay"
...
Oh yeah...
...
Food...
...
ZZZ...

(Repeat)
Danky Claus by Dank Claus August 1, 2012