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verb, past tense-
1. when an ordinary situation, task or job not only does not work, but becomes exponentially worse, usually resulting in person(s) involved becoming permanantly scarred and/or maimed or property being broken beyond repair and usually followed by a lawsuit with the involved party.

2. Murphy's Law X 100
"Marty borrowed my truck to haul a camper to take his family on vacation, but I got Maloned when Marty attempted to connect to the camper, backed up and misaligned the receiver's hitch, ripping off the rear bumper of my truck and knocking the camper down a ravine with his family still inside."
maloned by Smitty2036 February 19, 2009
Related Words

popping a mahoner 

the act of getting a boner when dancing with an unattractive girl then having it observed and/or photographed.
Dude Ben is popping a mahoner wutta freaken wierdo.
popping a mahoner by ... April 9, 2005
a beautiful and loving girl! everybody wans to be her! she has a sweet and gentle laugh. always making funny jokes and is friends with many. but is closest to her bestfriend :)
person 1: who is that girl walking right there?
person2: oh thats malania, shes pretty popular
person1: i want to be her friend!
malania by hehejfjenk tie January 10, 2018

Karl Malone-It

To do anything and add a bit of the Karl Malone piazzazz by putting one hand on the head model style, be it slam dunking the basketball, or just adding a little extra flavor to a kick flip.
"That would've been extremely lame, except that he added a Karl Malone-it!! What a bad ass!"
California slang name for Cocaine
before we head out to the club, we have to pick up Madonna.
Madonna by SujfatS November 6, 2014

Sam Malone 

A sex act named for Ted Danson's womanizing bartender on the Sitcom "Cheers". To Perform the Sam Malone, a man receives fellatio from a woman (or man). He waits until he is near climax, then pulls out of his partner's mouth, and gouges them in the eyes with his pre-cum slickened unit, temporarily blinding them. He then pushes them down, finishes on their face, then stands up and yells "Cheers,Bitch!"
I gave my girlfriend the Sam Malone, and spent the night in a holding cell.