Guy: So, are you a virgin?
Girl: I've
literally fucked the entire football team.
Shopper: What kind of olive
oil do you guys have?
Employee: We sell virgin and extra virgin.
Shopper: What's the difference?
Employee: Virgin's more acidic, and extra virgin has a more rigorous production methods.
Patron: Excuse me waiter, could I get a virgin hard lemonade?
Waiter: So... lemonade?