If you don't stay hydrated, the firstthing our medical staff with do is take your temperature. To do this, they use something called "the rectal rocket."
n. Humorous insult, used to imply that the target is a homosexual, particularly one who dresses up in Spandex and rams a bottle of Tabasco-brand hot sauce into their rectum in the hopes that it will prolong their erection.
Go crack open another cold one, you prickfaced rectal rocketeer!