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Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast

when someone is ruining something and telling you that what you are doing is wrong, not to help you out, but for no apparent reason. As a response you tell them to not jerk off on your breakfast.
I was having a great morning, but then Benji had to ruin my morning by telling me that the Giants were 1-7 so I told him "Please Benji, from now on, Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast"

Jerk Off Bud 

A "Jerk off bud" or "jerk off buddy" is a male associate (can be a friend or just a connection) whose primary connection is to get together and mutually masturbate with. This is not a relationship, gay or lover, just two (or more) normal guys who have regular meetings to jerk-off together and then go about their day, usually not to be spoken of outside the "group jerk" or "circle jerk". Optional "helping hands", watching porn, encouraging the others to edge longer, go twice, or shoot cum further can be involved, but not essential. Generally the person hosting the event provides the porn, lube, towels and tissues if needed.
"I met a new guy at the gym, turns out he's my new jerk off bud in the steam room".
"Hey Billy, I got some new porn, want to be my new jerk off buddy and watch it with me? We can hang out at my place".
"I always have a few jerk-off buds who are willing to rub one out with me in a circle-jerk anytime and the wife is cool with it".
Jerk Off Bud by JO Bud August 1, 2021

jerk off gesture 

When someone mimes jerking off (male masturbation) in order to signify one of the following.

1. Boredom during a conversation.
2. Annoyance at what is being said by someone.
3. To symbolically show that what is going on is pointless, and/or masturbatory.

Often accompanied by rolling your eyes.

For Example:

1. Speaking on the phone with someone who doesn't know when to shut up, so you do the jerk off gesture.
2. Someone is saying something you think is stupid so you do the jerk off gesture to show what you think of them.
3. Someone is pontificating on a subject you find stupid or pointless, with a great air of pomposity and pretense, so you do the jerk off gesture to show what you think of how they are using their time.
Alternately you may also consider the topic important, but find the delivery of said speech to be extremely self indulgent. IE, someone more interested in propping them self up than dealing with the subject at hand.
"So I was listening to this professor talk about the battle of the bulge and I love war history, but the dude just kept on and on, like he wouldn't shut up. I was doing the jerk off gesture under the table half the lecture."

National Jerk Off Day 

In today's world, anyone can make up a holiday (i.e., Kwanzaa).

It has thus been declared that from this day on, April 2 will be known as National Jerk Off Day. Males of all ages should beat off on this day to their dick’s content! (Just because they can)
My African friend tells me that Kwanzaa is fake, but he believes in National Jerk Off Day!

Go Jerk Off 

What you should do before creating bullshit sexual position on Urban Dictionary.
Instead of writing a David Hasselhoff sexual position definition, the 15 year old virgin decided to just go jerk off instead.

Jerk-Off-Junction 

An area in rural central PA, in which there is an adult pornography store every 5 miles.
we are entering Jerk-Off-junction, watch for porn shops.