von groovy's definitions

secular handshake

To masturbate.

After strolling through the garment district during fashion week, Nigel went home and used his drool to give himself a firm, secular handshake.

by von groovy May 26, 2017

quicklit

This is the term for books or "literature" that is written in a very fast and careless manner and it is intended for mass consumption by people who do not read books that require a great deal of intelligence. It is not all romance, chicklit, or science fiction nonsense, but mainly is...

Brenda - yes people are still named Brenda: "OMG! Did you hear about Margot?"
Lana: "Nope. And don't care. But you're still gonno tell me, right?"
Brenda: "You betcha! She has read six books this year and it's only November! She's a smart one."
Lana: "That's a load! She only reads quicklit. And she usually listens to it on audiobooks. Philistine."

by von groovy September 3, 2024

shunbathing

This is what happens when people wear poor fitting swimwear and they're really out of shape and instead of relaxing in some rays they're ridiculed by all who can see.

Lance and Sara went to the beach where the shunbathing was constant.

by von groovy June 9, 2019

more like your wishtory

A phrase you say to someone when they are telling a story about their past and altering it to make them look good

Jessica: "Back in Junior year, I was in such great shape! Half the hockey team asked me to go to the prom!"
Blake: "Bitch, please!! I was there and that is more like your wishtory than what happened. You had 13 more sundaes a week than the average person!"

by von groovy June 8, 2019

a swimming pool band-aid

Something that is disgusting and should never be touched.

Hans: I was with Anna last night and things were really great and then it was all over! She acted grossed out and left!
Albert: What happened? I thought last night was going to be the night?
Hans: Me too. I took off my pants and she looked at it like it was a swimming pool band-aid.
Albert: Well, you have that artsy circumcision with the side-flaps. You gotta get that fixed. Your parents did you no favors.

by von groovy June 18, 2017

clicklit

This is a term for something that is very short in nature and is clicked upon online. People will often state that they read something online and act as though it was detailed and provided a great deal of information fiction or non.

Brenda - yes people are still named Brenda: "OMG! I read the most interesting story last night. It was fascinating!"
Peggy: "You read? Like a story? Did you go to the library?"
Brenda: "Oh no! I read it online on my phone. It was on who'scushingwho.com."
Peggy: "Oh. Clicklit. Probably took you 12 seconds."
Brenda: "How did you know? Am I that predictable?"
Peggy: "You know the answer already."

by von groovy September 5, 2024

american brown

A color/skin tone that has been created in the U.S. by people of varying ethnicities having children together. Their children could call themselves this instead of "mixed," "biracial," or "two or more races"on forms. It has no negative connotation whatsoever.

Madison: Have you seen Angelina's baby?
Ashley: Nope. I bet she is gorgeous!
Madison: She is! And so sweet! Her skin tone is just so beautiful. It's like...I can't describe it.
Ashley: American brown?
Madison: Oh my gosh, YES!!

by von groovy June 15, 2017