the evil steve's definitions

bolt out of the brown

1) A completely out-of-context shitty thing to do or say, especially from an unexpected source. From the elderly phrase "bolt out of the blue", but modified with skidmarks for flavor.

2) (driving) Some asshole coming from out of nowhere to bust your chops (cut you off, tailgate and honk, etc.)

1) Our night out was pretty bangin' until Chess Club Bill dropped that ear-splitting N-bomb at the bar. What a bolt out of the brown!

2) Jesus! Where did this pissed-off horn-addicted Excursion-driving dickhead getting all up my tailpipe materialize from? This fat bastard was a bolt out of the brown!

by The Evil Steve June 23, 2007

mangina

1) Derisive term for a man's feminine side - especially when he's picky, touchy or emotional about something seemingly minor.
2) The bumhole - almost always a man's, and usually used in a prison-dating context.

1) Jesus, Steve, all I said was your car needs washed... you didn't have to flash me your mangina!
2) You got sentenced to three years in State? Guard your mangina and don't drop the soap.

by The Evil Steve September 23, 2005

ditto monkey

A person who vapidly, unthinkingly yet wholeheartedly repeats, shares and takes to heart phrases and ideas he/she hears from his perceived leader. Most often (OK, damned near exclusively) applied to followers of right-wing media magnates like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage Weiner, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, et al. A ditto monkey is often a raging dullard who can't normally put two syllables together without a paper clip, yet when the topic of their idol's specialty comes up (usually politics), his eyes glaze over and he eloquently spews words you know he couldn't otherwise possibly understand.

"Oh great... E-mail from Patrick. Hideous spelling, every fourth word in ALL CAPS, punctuation looks like a typewriter threw up, and he's blaming the weather on the Clintons. What a flippin' ditto monkey!"

by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005

size 9'd

Having one's anus forcefully, repeatedly and not-always-voluntarily resized. Size 9ing is most often performed courtesy of one's new cellmate's johnson, although at some parties, a proper piss-on / pass-out may elicit the act.

Guy 1: "Why is Shiela walking all funny?"
Guy 2: "She got Size 9'ed after passing out face down on the couch at Bob's party."

by The Evil Steve August 30, 2005

epidemic

1. (dictionary) Widespread contagion, usually a bacteria or virus, that kills or severly sickens a large number people in a particular geographic area.

2. (American Media) Half-assed drug or dumbass activity that kills a couple suburban white kids, usually in the Baltimore area for some reason.

1. The SARS epidemic of 2003 killed hundreds and hospitalized thousands in China and Toronto.

2. Stone Phillips reporting on the highway surfing epidemic... Ashleigh Banfield to follow with an expose on the paint-huffing epidemic.

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

buy their razor

Sports-related: to knock a team out of playoff contention. Derived from the tendency for sports teams to grow their beards during the playoffs as a sign of team unity.

The Chargers bought the Titans their razor(buy their razor) last night by pounding them 42-17 in Tennessee, knocking the Titans to 7-8 and completely out of the playoff chase.

by The Evil Steve December 26, 2009

only when I'm pregnant

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.

Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."

by The Evil Steve November 16, 2011