grandmapedia

Similar to wikipedia, though not anywhere near as factual. Grandmapedia is knowledge that is not available on the internet, as Grandma is not connected to the Internet and generates her own facts and content.

Grandma: The Rolling Stones band is very well educated. You know Mick Jagger has two PhDs.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that is accurate.
Grandma: Yes it is. The whole band is highly educated
Grand daughter: I find that hard to believe.
Grandma: Keith Richards also graduated with some great degrees.
Son: I believe that this is factual according to grandmapedia, though may not be available on wikipedia.

by the comand'r February 02, 2018

plowed and loud

When someone is hammered thereby driving their voice up significantly.

I love the Gru, but he's noisy enough when he's sober, but when he drinks he is plowed and loud

by the comand'r October 26, 2017

home coworker

Your spouse or family member when you are working from home. Corollary to office husband or office wife.

Dennis: Pam just walked in while I was on my conference call. As we have to share our home and both sustain our working environments, I am learning to manage along with my home coworker. When this Coronavirus blows over, I am going to introduce Pam to Jenny so that my home coworker can meet my office wife. Perhaps tonight I will call a meeting with my home coworker to put some effort toward producing a corona boomer.

by the comand'r April 03, 2020

crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.

Eric: Why, happy ending?

Dana: Nope. Actually, it was the polar opposite. I was so relaxed I shat myself at minute 45.

Eric: Oh dude, crappy ending...

by the comand'r October 27, 2014

two new ears

What a very talkative person is always in search of, e.g. someone who has not yet tuned them out.

At the party Tyler was droning on about politics that no on really cared to hear about as we had been with him all day and the guy did not stop talking. Four girls suddenly showed up the party and Tyler latched onto one of them as a new victim - two new ears.

by the comand'r February 24, 2019

dude diligence

Getting proper approval from your male friend(s) to proceed with a course of action.

Chuck: Dude, I just saw Rick macking with Kate at the mall. I thought Kate was still with Tommy.
Sean: Hey man, it’s cool. I heard that Rick broke it off with Kate and he cleared Tommy to date Kate, so Tommy did his dude diligence.

by the comand'r November 15, 2013

lobby log

When traveling with your wife and staying in a hotel, the man is not allowed to shit in the hotel room bathroom. This international law applies even if she is not in the room at the time the man does his bidness.

Marrie: Herbie, I came back from my spa appointment and was fouled by what I thought to be a crowd clearer. I did some deuce diligence to learn that you capped in our hotel room toilet.

Herbie: Sorry babe. I went to drop off my lobby log downstairs, but they were cleaning the lobby bathrooms. Couldn't hold after 3 cups of coffee.

by the comand'r May 28, 2023