H-E-Double-Bendy-Straws

A nicer way of saying or typing the word, "Hell".
It is similar to the phrases, "H-E-Double-Toothpicks" and, "H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks".
Why the H-E-Double-Bendy-Straws did you break those light bulbs in Mikey's bed?!?
Mikey never did anything to you to piss you off in that manner.
by Telephony August 26, 2014
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shat

\shatt\ (V.) Past tense of the word "shit".
{Two guys at a local ice hockey rink}
(Guy 1): Where's Donald?

(Guy 2): He called me on his cell a little while ago. Said that he douched out on the ice on the way here and shat himself, and that he had to run home and change his pants because he didn't want to smell like shit.

{From a phoney-bologna Christmas song I came up with in late-2011}
...Then how the reindeer hated him,
As they shat themselves with fear (again!)
Rudolph the fucking reindeer,
Have a real fucked-up new year!!!
by Telephony March 21, 2012
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baby poop brown

Some cars & trucks have this hideous brown paint job which has the color of baby shit; hence the phrase, "baby poop brown". This paint job is so old that it is often somewhat faded and has a matte finish (vs. a glossy finish as is usual for automotive paint jobs).

A 1970 Ford Maverick that I had in 1986 sported this type of paint -- faded, matte finish, and colored baby poop brown.
{From a website featuring fictious "death battles" between TV commercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}:

This fight shall take place outdoors on the breakdown lane in the southbound lanes of the I-5 freeway. Available to the embattled contestants are a 1976 Volkswagen Bug with a flat tire (or, "tyre" if you prefer) sporting a "baby poop brown" paint job and with the keys still in the ignition, a tire iron, a spare tire in the trunk (which is in the front, rather than in the back as is usual), several beer cans (one of them is full) in the roadside ditch, a half-used pack of matches, and the usual assortment of plants & weeds (including the poisonous foxglove) that you might find in a temperate north-American climate.
by Telephony September 27, 2013
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piss wiss football

What some people might call pee wee football -- that is, a football program designed for children ages 5 to 15.
So Lee is going to play piss wiss football this year huh? Well good luck with that! Lee has always been shitty at sports!!!
by Telephony May 10, 2015
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poop water

poop water (/pūp ˈwɑtəɹ/) noun.

Water or mud that has a high percentage of fecal matter (e.g. horse-puckey) in it.
Usually reeks rather strongly of poo.
Don't run that R/C truck through that puddle! It has poop water in it!
Piss you that fucking puddle reeks like fucking horse-puckey!!!
by Telephony June 29, 2019
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synthetic finger popping

The sound of somebody popping their fingers, created solely by synthesizer hardware or computer software synthesis -- not all unlike how synthetic clapping, synthetic cans, synthetic car horns, etc. are produced.
Kat McSnatch's song, "I Don't Like You" is terrific, but it would be even better if it had synthetic finger popping it instead of real finger popping.
by Telephony April 30, 2015
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cucking fold

A way to say the phrase, "fucking cold" that bypasses the onboard censor in online BBSs, forums (or fora if you want to be a dick about it) and other locations where the use of curse words might be inappropriate.
Man, the water that comes out of this hot water tap is really cucking fold for a minute or two!!!
by Telephony December 28, 2020
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